Tuesday, 27 November 2018

My Anti-Ageing Cream Smells Funny

Move over Estee Lauders Revitalising Cream because there is a new anti-ageing cream in town and this one leaves your face as smooth as a baby's, well, foreskin because the next big thing is a serum derived from South Korean babies’ circumcised penises.
Nothing weird with that at all, it's perfectly normal to want to have the liquidised foreskins of multiple babies rubbed all over your face and if it's good enough for the shiny faced Kate Beckinsale and Sandra Bullock, then it's good enough for the rest of us.
Apparently it helps to generate collagen and elastin, which can help to boost the radiance of your face but before you go knocking on the door of the nice South Korean couple up the road with the young son, the treatment involves microneedling which is a beautician repeatedly stabbing you in the face thousands of times to help the baby foreskins sink into your skin in return for £500.
Short of grabbing a handful needles and harvesting baby foreskins from the South Korean Community to wipe across you face in an attempt to look younger, we will just have to wait until Boots make a knock off version or if you really can't wait, dig out the liquidiser and have a word with the local Rabbi at the Synagogue, they should have some laying around, oy vey.

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