Suddenly he was the best thing since potatoes (well it was Russia) and the Queen was so grateful that she allowed him to not only lay hands on her son, but lay them all over her as well, which he did, several times a week.
The Tsar found out but couldn't stop him from ploughing his wife because if he was taken out his son would die but he got so angry after hearing him being called Russia's greatest love machine once to many times through the bedroom wall, so he ordered Rasputin be killed.
The first attempt was a woman stabbed him in the stomach several times while he was preparing to give her a Russian Queen special but he managed to escape and then in an eventful evening a few nights later, while recuperating, he was invited to a friends house who poisoned his meal but he actually felt okay afterwards.
Taking the hint that he might not be as welcome as he first thought, he tried to make his excuses and leave but someone pulled out a gun and shot him.
As he stood there with a bandaged stomach, poison flowing through his body and now several gun shot wounds, he thought, actually, i don't feel too bad but he was determined to leave so he jumped out of the second story window.
As he lay on the ground winded and with several broken bones he thought, blimey, i feel okay but as he was getting up the 'friend' arrived and shot him again and after he started to think, holy crap, maybe i'm invincible after all, he hit him repeatedly over the head with his shoe until he unconscious, rolled him up in a carpet and lobbed him off a bridge and setting in motion the career of Boney M.
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