Wednesday 11 September 2024

Trump Fan Passes Test Shocker

Scientists are struggling to come to terms with the recent announcement that a Donald Trump supporter has passed the Turing test, convincing a panel of judges that he is an actual human being. Such a feat is without precedent in the scientific literature.
Although the Turing test was originally proposed as a test of a computer’s ability to effectively mimic human behaviour, it was deemed appropriate for use on Trump voters which until now, was considered impossible that one of them could ever convince a panel of mature adults that they were an actual human.
'This has come as quite a surprise' said the lead researcher who administered the test.
'The general consensus among those of us in authority is that Trump supporters are essentially different from us 'normal humans', they’re just not like us, so can we really consider them human?'
Shaking his head slowly he added: 'People have spent years trying to tell Trump fans how to behave and why they’re so weird and dreadful, and it was clear that they couldn't comprehend what we’re saying so we really didn't expect  this to actually happen. A panel of scientists should definitely be able to spot one trying to communicate as a human.'
The scientist told me how even attempting to recruit a Trump supporter to take the test proved very difficult as given how they knew they struggle to speak with actual humans, 'We tried to keep our explanations as simple as possible' he said, 'but more often than not they flee, just stand there looking confused whilst dribbling down their shirt fronts or start ranting about immigrants at us demonstrating just how poor their understanding of anything science related is'.
For the actual test, the panel of judges had to determine whether they were engaged in a text chat with either an actual adult or Donald Trump supporter and to the amazement of everyone, the Trump fan convinced 100% of the judges that he was an actual person.
'It was incredible' said another startled scientist, 'not once did they use some gibberish slang, aggressively accuse me of being a Communist or mention black people and their spelling was mostly correct...mostly. This result really challenges current scientific ideas about Trump voters'.
I thanked them for their time and got up to leave and as we shook hands the first scientist said: 'Some might think we should start thinking of them as actual humans rather than some separate section of society' said the first Scientist as i stood to leave: 'which seems a bit extreme as this is only one out of millions and i am thinking that it needs to be reviewed because if a Donald Trump supporter can pass it then it's too easy. It's common sense.'

1 comment:

Not really a blog said...

i've met lots of scientists. many are idiots, and they are often arrogant idiots.

while they were learning more about chemistry, physics, biology than the rest of us - not to be confused with knowing everything on any of those topics - we were learning business, economics, communications, teaching, history, etc.

so, while they were learning how to turn elements into compounds, or how to test the quality of water, or how gravity impacts flight, we were learning how to manage the scientists as they use their narrowly focused education.

scientists should stick to using their limited specialty and let the rest of us make the policy decisions...

they should also use their "scientific" discipline on themselves and resist the yearning to make assertions about people and society.