With the upcoming seal cull in Canada, it is time again to wag a finger and scowl at the country that has one of the best images in the World when they are not hacking seal pups to death and pretending it isn't for the fur.
This year i planned to boycott all things Canadian in protest but apart from Bryan Adams, nothing immediately came to mind to give a wide berth to. A quick whirl through the Internet and my worst fears are confirmed, Canada exports next to nothing to us and is just the North American equivalent of Belgium with a better flag.
I even asked my Canadian colleague what, apart from Canadian teachers with terrible dress sense, does his country export to us and he scratched his head, mumbled something about Bryan Adams and faked a coughing fit.
According to UK Trade & Investment website, the UK is Canada's primary European trading partner but nobody i have asked can remember seeing anything stamped with 'made, built, product of, grown or manufactured in Canada'.
So just what is going on in Canada? You are a big country with a lot of snow, Mounties and apparently you say "eh" after every sentence but have you got nothing us Brits want?
Granted you have produced some fine comedians, actors and singers but come on Canada, unless there is a large secret market that we are all unaware of flourishing here, Britain seems very much a Canada free zone.
You need to pick up the pace because i can't just not buy Bryan Adams, Shania Twain or Avril Lavigne CD's in protest of your seal killing ventures because that would mean i would have been boycotting Canada forever.
Wednesday, 9 January 2008
CoE: Debt Busters
This is the time of year to rip up any bank statements that fall on the doormat and put on a fake Chinese voice and repeat "Is wong number" if the bank manager phones to arrange a meeting.
Most people's belts are squeezed just that little bit tighter following Christmas but don't fret if the electric company are bellowing through your letterbox or the only thing in your fridge is something that used to resemble a tomato, because help is at hand in the shape of a dog collar wearing saviour.
The Church of England has taken it upon themselves to not only save your soul but also offer free financial advice by launching a campaign to help people struggling with debt.
I don't want to get snooty about any offer of free advice but a fat lot of good a prayer and a few verses from John The Baptist is going to do anyone when the landlord comes hammering on the door and throws your mattress out into the street.
A quick look at the Church's finances reveals that church has to make ends meet with just £1000 million per annum. Never enough to fix their own roof's of course but £1000 million is one hell of a wedge especially if you add it to the £4.8b it has in assets.
With around £750 million of it coming directly from worshippers, the CoE could offer a few tips on how to fill the coffers, for example passing a begging bowl around when you get a few people together seems to be working just fine for them.
Maybe the Church should take some advice from Matthew 19:18 "sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven".
If not there is always Lucy 23:54 "A handful of those millions of bank notes with the queens head on you have squirrelled away would be more helpful than a quick burst of Kumbaya thank you".
Most people's belts are squeezed just that little bit tighter following Christmas but don't fret if the electric company are bellowing through your letterbox or the only thing in your fridge is something that used to resemble a tomato, because help is at hand in the shape of a dog collar wearing saviour.
The Church of England has taken it upon themselves to not only save your soul but also offer free financial advice by launching a campaign to help people struggling with debt.
I don't want to get snooty about any offer of free advice but a fat lot of good a prayer and a few verses from John The Baptist is going to do anyone when the landlord comes hammering on the door and throws your mattress out into the street.
A quick look at the Church's finances reveals that church has to make ends meet with just £1000 million per annum. Never enough to fix their own roof's of course but £1000 million is one hell of a wedge especially if you add it to the £4.8b it has in assets.
With around £750 million of it coming directly from worshippers, the CoE could offer a few tips on how to fill the coffers, for example passing a begging bowl around when you get a few people together seems to be working just fine for them.
Maybe the Church should take some advice from Matthew 19:18 "sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven".
If not there is always Lucy 23:54 "A handful of those millions of bank notes with the queens head on you have squirrelled away would be more helpful than a quick burst of Kumbaya thank you".
Sunday, 6 January 2008
Clinton v Obama
If i had a vote in the American election i would be putting my X beside whichever Democrat makes it out of the scrap for the nomination. The general consensus seems to think it will be Clinton and Obama left standing with John Edwards star falling by the wayside after peaking in Iowa.
Out of the two Democrats that potentially leaves, voters would face an intriguing choice.
As former first lady, Hillary may not of actually been there before but she was riding shotgun to her husband when he sat in the big chair and that type of experience has be invaluable.
If elected, you wouldn't just get her, you would also get Bill in a two for one offer and sex scandals aside, he made a pretty decent fist of things nationally and internationally during his two terms.
With Bill behind her, she would hit the ground running with no settling in period and avoiding the steep learning curve and possible pitfalls that every new leader has to negotiate.
With Obama what you get is complete change from the possible Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton succession that has dominated for the past two decades. A fresh face and a new perspective would represent a volte-face and almost instantly begin to repair Americas tarnished image on the World stage.
He has no baggage, uses clear and expressive language, shows intelligence and has impressive oratory skills but most importantly, he represents the greatest shift away from the status quo which has has been a disaster on so many levels.
The choice would be a steady hand from an experienced leader who would shift the ship back onto an even keel or a gamble on a new, young, fresh face that signals a new direction.
Experience or the energy of new blood. I do not have to make that decision but it is an interesting choice.
Out of the two Democrats that potentially leaves, voters would face an intriguing choice.
As former first lady, Hillary may not of actually been there before but she was riding shotgun to her husband when he sat in the big chair and that type of experience has be invaluable.
If elected, you wouldn't just get her, you would also get Bill in a two for one offer and sex scandals aside, he made a pretty decent fist of things nationally and internationally during his two terms.
With Bill behind her, she would hit the ground running with no settling in period and avoiding the steep learning curve and possible pitfalls that every new leader has to negotiate.
With Obama what you get is complete change from the possible Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton succession that has dominated for the past two decades. A fresh face and a new perspective would represent a volte-face and almost instantly begin to repair Americas tarnished image on the World stage.
He has no baggage, uses clear and expressive language, shows intelligence and has impressive oratory skills but most importantly, he represents the greatest shift away from the status quo which has has been a disaster on so many levels.
The choice would be a steady hand from an experienced leader who would shift the ship back onto an even keel or a gamble on a new, young, fresh face that signals a new direction.
Experience or the energy of new blood. I do not have to make that decision but it is an interesting choice.
Saturday, 5 January 2008
Britney On The Brink
The sad sight of Britney Spears, visibly distressed and being carried out of her house, strapped to a stretcher and taken to hospital for psychiatric evaluation left an uneasy taste in my mouth.
The media and talk show hosts may see it all as a great laugh, another thing to point and laugh about at her expense but all i see is a young woman who has been pushed over the edge and is settling into some very dangerous territory.
She may not be a sophisticated or highly educated person and she may not have had the greatest upbringing but she is only a singer who gained fame and fortune early with very little, if any, guidance.
Someone needs to take her under their wing, drag her away from the lifestyle that has driven her to such desperation before she takes the ultimate decision and is found lifeless in a bedroom somewhere because you do not need to be psychic to see that is the catastrophic end in store for her, looming large in huge neon letters.
Palm Beach Post
Reuters
The media and talk show hosts may see it all as a great laugh, another thing to point and laugh about at her expense but all i see is a young woman who has been pushed over the edge and is settling into some very dangerous territory.
She may not be a sophisticated or highly educated person and she may not have had the greatest upbringing but she is only a singer who gained fame and fortune early with very little, if any, guidance.
Someone needs to take her under their wing, drag her away from the lifestyle that has driven her to such desperation before she takes the ultimate decision and is found lifeless in a bedroom somewhere because you do not need to be psychic to see that is the catastrophic end in store for her, looming large in huge neon letters.
Palm Beach Post
Reuters
TalkSport & KABC
Another bout of insomnia had me sitting in the kitchen at 3am last night warming up milk in the microwave and listening to the radio. Mike Mendoza, right leaning talk show host of Talksport Radio was having a live link up with fellow radio host Al Rantel of KABC in Los Angeles, California.
The premise was to get Brits to question Al and Americans to question Mike.
The Brits and Rantel discussed Obama's victory in the Iowa caucas when Mike mentioned that he feared for the Democrat's safety, what with him being a black candidate who was looking as though he may be within a shout of reaching the White House, citing the history of previous high profile assassinations, attempted assassinations and school shootings.
This seemed to get the gander up of the callers US side, and Al, who berated Mike for his view of Americans as a bunch of racists. Much backpeddling, counter accusation and agreeing to disagree later, the subject turned to the US Presidential candidates backing for Israel and this time it was the turn of the US host to get it in the ear from Brits for the US backing Israel and Rantel dismissing the Palestinians as a bunch of terrorists. Again, much backpeddling and Rantels turn to get it from Mendoza.
It really was great radio and two things struck me as i sat listening to both sides venting their spleen.
Firstly the American right and the British right, whereas both unfathomable to me, are very different animals and from what i could hear, it came down to God & guns.
Secondly, we may share a language and a common ancestry, but the image these Right leaning Americans and British callers seemed to have each other was very insightful.
How far apart the UK & US left are, i don't know but i would love to find out what issues we are apart on if any.
The premise was to get Brits to question Al and Americans to question Mike.
The Brits and Rantel discussed Obama's victory in the Iowa caucas when Mike mentioned that he feared for the Democrat's safety, what with him being a black candidate who was looking as though he may be within a shout of reaching the White House, citing the history of previous high profile assassinations, attempted assassinations and school shootings.
This seemed to get the gander up of the callers US side, and Al, who berated Mike for his view of Americans as a bunch of racists. Much backpeddling, counter accusation and agreeing to disagree later, the subject turned to the US Presidential candidates backing for Israel and this time it was the turn of the US host to get it in the ear from Brits for the US backing Israel and Rantel dismissing the Palestinians as a bunch of terrorists. Again, much backpeddling and Rantels turn to get it from Mendoza.
It really was great radio and two things struck me as i sat listening to both sides venting their spleen.
Firstly the American right and the British right, whereas both unfathomable to me, are very different animals and from what i could hear, it came down to God & guns.
Secondly, we may share a language and a common ancestry, but the image these Right leaning Americans and British callers seemed to have each other was very insightful.
How far apart the UK & US left are, i don't know but i would love to find out what issues we are apart on if any.
Friday, 4 January 2008
I Wanna Be A Rockstar
It's Michael Stipes birthday today so Happy 48th Birthday Mike.
REM have always been a bit of a strange band for me, they hung about for ages not doing very much then suddenly dashed out two great albums and a handful of barnstorming songs in the early nineties and then seemed to go back to being pretty average again.
I bought 'Out of Time' and 'Automatic for the people' and loved the singles on it including 'Losing My Religion', 'Everybody Hurts' and my favourite REM song 'Man on the Moon' but since those heady days, they seemed to have just dropped back into the plethora of so-so bands churning out nothing-to-get-excited-about music.
All this leads me nicely onto Nickelback who had a huge hit with 'How You Remind Me' about 6 years ago and then buggered off for a few years doing nothing very exciting and then suddenly, out of nowhere conjured up the brilliant 'Rockstar' which is sitting just outside the top 10 in the UK Charts.
I know it has been knocking about in North America for quite some time but they finally saw fit to release it here and i have replaced the iffy home burnt version with the proper CD and have been driving along for the past few weeks singing about how the girls come easy and the drugs come cheap and popping my pills from a Pez dispenser.
Brilliant song, great video but i just wish bands would either stay good or stay hopeless. Messes me about no end when they suddenly pull a gem out of a long line of duffers.
Now, where did i put that Pez dispenser.
REM have always been a bit of a strange band for me, they hung about for ages not doing very much then suddenly dashed out two great albums and a handful of barnstorming songs in the early nineties and then seemed to go back to being pretty average again.
I bought 'Out of Time' and 'Automatic for the people' and loved the singles on it including 'Losing My Religion', 'Everybody Hurts' and my favourite REM song 'Man on the Moon' but since those heady days, they seemed to have just dropped back into the plethora of so-so bands churning out nothing-to-get-excited-about music.
All this leads me nicely onto Nickelback who had a huge hit with 'How You Remind Me' about 6 years ago and then buggered off for a few years doing nothing very exciting and then suddenly, out of nowhere conjured up the brilliant 'Rockstar' which is sitting just outside the top 10 in the UK Charts.
I know it has been knocking about in North America for quite some time but they finally saw fit to release it here and i have replaced the iffy home burnt version with the proper CD and have been driving along for the past few weeks singing about how the girls come easy and the drugs come cheap and popping my pills from a Pez dispenser.
Brilliant song, great video but i just wish bands would either stay good or stay hopeless. Messes me about no end when they suddenly pull a gem out of a long line of duffers.
Now, where did i put that Pez dispenser.
The Land Of Our Dozy Policemen
The life of a policeman in the cities of England isn't always easy what with the traffic, drunken teenagers and angry Islamists trying to kill us while we sleep (copyright Murdoch Press) so it is sometimes nice to leave behind the sweaty and harassed lawman of England and get some perspective from the beautiful hills and fields of an altogether more relaxed part of Britain.
Somewhere like Wales with its rolling hillsides, peaceful dales and the strained bleating of sheep emanating from beside red faced farmers.
A beautiful scene and not one bird brained dolt of a Chief Constable opening his mouth and uttering something so stupid you could almost believe his brain had been replaced by a turnip to ruin it.
Oops, my mistake, here comes one now.
"Ecstasy is safer than Aspirin" according to North Wales Chief Constable Richard Brunstrom "There is a lot of scaremongering, rumourmongering around ecstasy that isn’t borne out by the evidence. It is actually a remarkably safe substance"
That would be the evidence from the National Drugs Prevention Alliance then who pointed out to the loon that almost 500 people have died through taking ecstasy since the mid 1990's.
Maybe Mr Brunstrom should relocate to a place where his grip on reality is more attuned. I am sure Tinky Winky would let him sleep on the sofa.
Somewhere like Wales with its rolling hillsides, peaceful dales and the strained bleating of sheep emanating from beside red faced farmers.
A beautiful scene and not one bird brained dolt of a Chief Constable opening his mouth and uttering something so stupid you could almost believe his brain had been replaced by a turnip to ruin it.
Oops, my mistake, here comes one now.
"Ecstasy is safer than Aspirin" according to North Wales Chief Constable Richard Brunstrom "There is a lot of scaremongering, rumourmongering around ecstasy that isn’t borne out by the evidence. It is actually a remarkably safe substance"
That would be the evidence from the National Drugs Prevention Alliance then who pointed out to the loon that almost 500 people have died through taking ecstasy since the mid 1990's.
Maybe Mr Brunstrom should relocate to a place where his grip on reality is more attuned. I am sure Tinky Winky would let him sleep on the sofa.
Thursday, 3 January 2008
Ridding The World Of Cliches
A particular pet hate of mine is the overuse of cliches in everyday speak. The tabloids are especially bad for what amounts to lazy writing and i want to tweak the ear of every sportsman who tells us that they are over the moon or as sick as a parrot.
It really does irk me so hopefully the annual list of words and phrases that deserve to be banned published by The Times will help us turn the corner away from this slippery slope although admittedly, the extent of their use does leave us with a mountain to climb.
Avoiding such cliches may prove to be a steep learning curve for new journalists and even for those who have been around the block a few times but if we can catch the journalism students early doors then we can prevent things going pear shaped and the wheels coming off. Of course there will be those who bury their head in the sand and refuse to think outside the box or push the envelope but at the end of the day, the cream will always rise to the top.
Cliches. There really is no need for them.
It really does irk me so hopefully the annual list of words and phrases that deserve to be banned published by The Times will help us turn the corner away from this slippery slope although admittedly, the extent of their use does leave us with a mountain to climb.
Avoiding such cliches may prove to be a steep learning curve for new journalists and even for those who have been around the block a few times but if we can catch the journalism students early doors then we can prevent things going pear shaped and the wheels coming off. Of course there will be those who bury their head in the sand and refuse to think outside the box or push the envelope but at the end of the day, the cream will always rise to the top.
Cliches. There really is no need for them.
US Elections Explained For Brits
Ok fellow Brits, we have seen the news of the upcoming US elections on our screen for a while now and as a nation who usually don't give a fig about our own leaders let alone those of another countries, so you may be wondering, or probably not, what the hell those crazy yanks are up to now.
Allow me to explain.
Here in the UK our election is a ten week sprint for a party to vote for and whoever is the party leader at that time cops it as the person to lead us down whatever garden path they decide for the next 5 years.
The American election in comparison is a triathalon and the competitors have only just dipped their toe in the water of the first discipline.
The starting gun to the slog for the White House Hot Seat is due to go off in Iowa where all the hopefuls either get the nod to continue or the slap around the face to go home and stop wasting everybody's time.
The nods from the Democratic side of the fence seem to be aimed towards Clinton and Obama with the rest of the Democratic field, to be quite frank, losing the ghost of any chance they had so long ago that even Derek Ocorah couldn't find them.
The Republican field is a bit more open so perm 3 from 6. Huckabee, Romney, McCain, Giuliani, Thompson or Paul but the only one's familiar to us Brits will be Fred Thompson who was in Law & Order on Sky One and possibly Rudy Giuliani who had a pop at our NHS the other month but don't to worry about remembering them, Thompson will soon be Out of Order and Rudy will need more than the kiss of life from a St John's ambulanceman to get his chances revived.
After Iowa the whole thing moves onto New Hampshire and around the country slowly whittling down the number of wannabe Presidents until they end up with one Elephant (Republican) and one Donkey (Democrat) who then fight it out to replace the Monkey who is there at the moment.
Simple see, and you though Des O'Connor on Countdown was as exciting as it got.
Allow me to explain.
Here in the UK our election is a ten week sprint for a party to vote for and whoever is the party leader at that time cops it as the person to lead us down whatever garden path they decide for the next 5 years.
The American election in comparison is a triathalon and the competitors have only just dipped their toe in the water of the first discipline.
The starting gun to the slog for the White House Hot Seat is due to go off in Iowa where all the hopefuls either get the nod to continue or the slap around the face to go home and stop wasting everybody's time.
The nods from the Democratic side of the fence seem to be aimed towards Clinton and Obama with the rest of the Democratic field, to be quite frank, losing the ghost of any chance they had so long ago that even Derek Ocorah couldn't find them.
The Republican field is a bit more open so perm 3 from 6. Huckabee, Romney, McCain, Giuliani, Thompson or Paul but the only one's familiar to us Brits will be Fred Thompson who was in Law & Order on Sky One and possibly Rudy Giuliani who had a pop at our NHS the other month but don't to worry about remembering them, Thompson will soon be Out of Order and Rudy will need more than the kiss of life from a St John's ambulanceman to get his chances revived.
After Iowa the whole thing moves onto New Hampshire and around the country slowly whittling down the number of wannabe Presidents until they end up with one Elephant (Republican) and one Donkey (Democrat) who then fight it out to replace the Monkey who is there at the moment.
Simple see, and you though Des O'Connor on Countdown was as exciting as it got.
Wednesday, 2 January 2008
2008 Psychic Predictions
'Come writers and critics' sang that sage of philosophical thought Bob Dylan before continuing in that annoying nasal drone 'who prophesise with your pens' which leads us nicely to people who do actually prophesise with their pens. Well keyboards anyway.
Any highlight at the start of a new year is the time honoured tradition of trying to guess what we will be facing in the coming twelve months. Despite being armed with tarot cards, one black and white candle and a Ouija board, my best efforts managed to dredge up nothing more than the sight of my friends head spinning around on her shoulders so we decided to turn to the people who have slightly more control over the dark arts. Psychics.
A quick trawl over the internet pointed us to Britain's foremost exponents of chatting to dead red Indians chiefs who have seen fit to tell us mortals what is going to happen on our planet during the next year.
So thank you to the guys at www.psychics.co.uk, let us gaze together as the mists clear and in our crystal ball we see:
The Beijing Olympics being cancelled, earthquakes in California and Greece, a hurricane greater than Katrina striking the US, panic as scientists discover that something long held to be healthy is not, India to be engaged in conflict, a small nuclear detonation in the Middle East, a major terrorist attack involving a missile, the assassination of a major American politician, a major volcanic eruption, riots in the UK, poignant space news and a white boat/ship with the name ELLE in the name making major news.
Doesn't sound too clever does it which is a bit of a downer because i was really hoping for something a bit more upbeat.
Still, back to my Ouija board to try and find out what the future holds for Britney Spears and maybe i can find time to do something about that deep growling voice coming from my Christmas Tree and the poltergeist that has been throwing about my plates since my initial attempt.
Any highlight at the start of a new year is the time honoured tradition of trying to guess what we will be facing in the coming twelve months. Despite being armed with tarot cards, one black and white candle and a Ouija board, my best efforts managed to dredge up nothing more than the sight of my friends head spinning around on her shoulders so we decided to turn to the people who have slightly more control over the dark arts. Psychics.
A quick trawl over the internet pointed us to Britain's foremost exponents of chatting to dead red Indians chiefs who have seen fit to tell us mortals what is going to happen on our planet during the next year.
So thank you to the guys at www.psychics.co.uk, let us gaze together as the mists clear and in our crystal ball we see:
The Beijing Olympics being cancelled, earthquakes in California and Greece, a hurricane greater than Katrina striking the US, panic as scientists discover that something long held to be healthy is not, India to be engaged in conflict, a small nuclear detonation in the Middle East, a major terrorist attack involving a missile, the assassination of a major American politician, a major volcanic eruption, riots in the UK, poignant space news and a white boat/ship with the name ELLE in the name making major news.
Doesn't sound too clever does it which is a bit of a downer because i was really hoping for something a bit more upbeat.
Still, back to my Ouija board to try and find out what the future holds for Britney Spears and maybe i can find time to do something about that deep growling voice coming from my Christmas Tree and the poltergeist that has been throwing about my plates since my initial attempt.
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