Wednesday, 9 January 2008

CoE: Debt Busters

This is the time of year to rip up any bank statements that fall on the doormat and put on a fake Chinese voice and repeat "Is wong number" if the bank manager phones to arrange a meeting.
Most people's belts are squeezed just that little bit tighter following Christmas but don't fret if the electric company are bellowing through your letterbox or the only thing in your fridge is something that used to resemble a tomato, because help is at hand in the shape of a dog collar wearing saviour.
The Church of England has taken it upon themselves to not only save your soul but also offer free financial advice by launching a campaign to help people struggling with debt.
I don't want to get snooty about any offer of free advice but a fat lot of good a prayer and a few verses from John The Baptist is going to do anyone when the landlord comes hammering on the door and throws your mattress out into the street.
A quick look at the Church's finances reveals that church has to make ends meet with just £1000 million per annum. Never enough to fix their own roof's of course but £1000 million is one hell of a wedge especially if you add it to the £4.8b it has in assets.
With around £750 million of it coming directly from worshippers, the CoE could offer a few tips on how to fill the coffers, for example passing a begging bowl around when you get a few people together seems to be working just fine for them.
Maybe the Church should take some advice from Matthew 19:18 "sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven".
If not there is always Lucy 23:54 "A handful of those millions of bank notes with the queens head on you have squirrelled away would be more helpful than a quick burst of Kumbaya thank you".


ruth said...

And it's all tax free. The only religious group who walk the talk are the Salvation Army IMO.

The other churches are just corporations in drag.

Lucyp said...

I had to do a double take, £1000 million a year!!!