Interviewing Bin Laden

An offer by al Qaeda for the public to put questions to the terror organisation's leadership has received hundreds of responses.
Al Qaeda's media arm, al Sahab, announced that al Zawahiri would take questions posted on Islamic militant websites and would respond soon.
Not one to piffle about, i rang direct to the head cheese himself, Bin Laden, and asked him a few questions. I began by asking him how he thought his Holy Jihad against the infidel west was going.
"To be honest Lucy" he sighed "it has kinda lost it's edge. I was all for the murder and mayhem at first but it isn't much fun being the Worlds most famous man and spending my time stuck in a cave with only al Zawahiri for company. I have been searching through the Koran recently to see if there is some sharia law loophole that means I could hang out with Brad and Angelina for a few days."
Surprised by his answer, i pressed him further on his fondness for American Hollywood stars.
"The jihadists and I have a lot of time for Mel Gibson" he said enthusiastically after a few moments pondering, "My people asked his people about a part in my next video release entitled "Those Fecking Jews" but we failed to agree on a price. Shame really because i felt we had a bond."
At this point he began saying that he had to go because he had to take the camel into town but before he went i just had time to ask him if he has been following the US Election.
"I try my best to keep up with what is going on in the Great Satan and with my warmongering reputation i am of course attracted to the Republican Party although i don't think any of the current nominees could come close to what Bush and I share. We both sit back and send other people to a pointless death and are both hated by the rest of the world. I really must go, i have a beard trim and dye at 3'o'clock."