Tuesday 17 May 2016

America Drowning In Cheese

I never knew there was such a difference in cheese between us and the Americans, i wrongly assumed their cheese was the same as our cheese but by all accounts even Americans don't like their cheese and are not even allowed to call it cheese, it is legally known as a 'cheese product'.
It all began when Sky News reported the United States has an overwhelming surplus of cheese, enough to equal three extra pounds of the stuff for every person in the country.
The answer the dairy farmers came up with as the price of their product tanked due to overproduction was to increase the amount of cheese they made or as one yokel put it: 'you milk more cows'.
I, again wrongly, thought why don't they send some this way, Europeans love Cheese but then someone pointed out that they do export it here, those little square Kraft blocks that taste like you have forgotten to remove the plastic wrapper is American Cheese, or rather 'Cheese product' because they legally can't call it cheese.
Reading the comments at some American sites, it appears that the problem is that Americans think American Cheese Product tastes like sh...isn't very nice which is why there is too much of it knocking around so America is drowning in plastic stuff that pretends to be cheese.
My initial solution was to make a massive pizza and send it to the World's starving but apparently the cheese doesn't melt, just sort of gets warm and bubbles a bit so my second idea was to pack it into a convoy of rockets and fire it at the Sun which seems a win-win all around.

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