There will be flag waving, bad singing and Australians becoming honorary Europeans next weekend as the Eurovision Song Contest rolls onto our television screens.
It isn't just Europeans and Aussies who can shout 'nul points' at the Azerbaijan entry this year because Americans can join in revelling at the sight of beautiful men and women belting out power ballads blocked out on the TV screen by thousands of fans manically waving flags in front of the cameras.
The United Kingdom entry is a bit more upbeat with a catchy chorus but as we are as popular in Europe as a doughnut at a weight watchers meeting it will be a shock if we are troubling the left hand side of the leaders board with the eventual winners.
Our song is called 'You're Not Alone' which we won't be because we are sure to have company on the few points Ireland and Malta (thanks guys) always throw us.
One country that also won't win it are Romania who have been kicked out due to their TV station that covers the Eurovision not coughing up to pay off their debts so that is us robbed of the Ovidiu Anton performance of his song appropriately titled 'Moment of Silence'.
The favourites are Russia although politics may play a part when it comes to voting for them so i would plump for Spain or France to end up with the microphone shaped trophy.
As we tried to get tickets for the Final but were told they sold out almost as soon as they were released, we will be watching it on the TV along with the expected Worldwide audience of 200 million armed with a pencil and a scorecard and shouting 'Nul Points' at Azerbaijan.
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