I have been under the impression all this time that Donald Trumps problems was all down to him being a slimy, pathetic man who undertook extra marital affairs and specialised in dodgy deals and collusion with Russians to win the election but turns out it's all down to Witches.
An Alabama pastor has urged his congregation to pray for the President to ward off witchcraft which is allegedly threatening his presidency.
Pastor John A. Kilpatrick has told his followers that witches are trying to remove Trump with black magic and Trump needs their prayers to fend off the onslaught.
It’s possible the pastor took the Trumps repeated criticism of the Robert Mueller probe as a 'witchhunt' to literally but i can't see how shouting a few hallelujahs his way could possibly hurt. Can't see it helping either but what the hell, fill yer boots religionists.
If only the Pastor had spoken up before he sexually assaulted women and got jiggy with a porn star and a Playboy model then maybe he wouldn't be in such a mess now and he may have even prevented the witches forcing him into teaming up with Vladimir Putin and the Russians to win the election.
I guess if they start praying they could deflect the spell that make Trump into a racist and even erase that infamous pee tape before it puts in an appearance.
Praying's got to be worth a go because nothing else seems to be working to make him less of a moronic simpleton.
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