Friday, 21 September 2018

Music For The Conservatives

It's the political Party conference season and the organisers have the same thorny issue of who's music are they allowed to use?
To avoid the fate of D:Ream and their 'Things Can Only Get Better' song forever being associated with the now toxic Tony Blair and his New Labour movement, bands are falling over themselves to stop political parties tying their songs to whichever lies they are telling to their own members.
Florence and the Machine, Calvin Harris, Primal Scream, Keane and the Dandy Warhols have already slapped a ban on any of their songs being used by the Conservatives and as most musical artists are left wing, it is more of a problem for the right-wing Conservatives than the Labour Party.
Donald Trump had the same issue when nobody would let their songs be used for his inauguration, not wanting to be tainted by him even before we knew what a moron he was going to be, Trump used 'It's the End of the World As We Know It' and needless to say, Michael Stipe didn't feel fine and told him to go do to himself what he did to Stormy Daniels in that Nevada Hotel Room.
As the venues have a music license i don't know if they can actually stop their songs being played at the conferences but it's a bit embarrassing to have a pop star slagging you off and drawing attention to how much they hate you after you have chosen them to represent you.
To avoid such problems maybe the Conservatives should go for bands and singers who are more right leaning, like Spandau Ballet, Eric Clapton, Geri Halliwell and Phil Collins, i'm sure they got a song which represents Conservative Values, Collins 'In The Air tonight' sums up Theresa May's Brexit policy perfectly and i'm sure Spandau Ballet wouldn't object to either their 'Only When You Leave' or 'How Many Lies' being used. 
'Kill The Poor' by Dead Kennedy's and 'Lies' by Fleetwood Mac are probably not on the play list but everyone likes The Beatles and they have the perfect song for the Conservative Party, Taxman.

If you drive a car, I'll tax the street.
If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat.
If you get too cold, I'll tax the heat.
If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet  

Sums up the Conservatives economic policy perfectly.

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