Friday 11 October 2024

So A Robot Is Trying To Murder You Advice Guide

 

The inevitable robot war predicted by everyone should be here any day now, and probably the least welcome thing you could find looming over you is a robot because not only are they metallic but they are immensely strong and impervious to fire, bullets, hitting with blunt objects and have clear, logical thought which anticipates your every move.
You cannot outrun it, so here at Google we have created a handy guide: 'So A Robot Is Trying To Murder You'.
First check to make sure that it isn't actually a human in disguise and once you are certain that it isn't, have you angered it in some way and an apology will soothe it's mechanical brain?
If the answer is no then the next step is to try and stop it somehow but remember the bit about them being impervious to most things but feel free to try, i'll wait.
So how did that go for you? Still relentlessly pursuing you is it? Ok so the next step is to try and fool the Robot that you are one of them and not a bag of meat with squishy organs so have a try at that robotic dance which should slow it down if nothing else as it computes what the hell you are, so this is a chance to lure it to its demise.
If you have a foundry near by, pop and lock that way, if you haven't then sorry but you may as well turn this off now as your toast.
So after dancing your way up to the edge of one of those big vats of molten metal using the power of 80's dance, seduce the robot into plunging into the molten liquid by shouting a paradox as a robot's mechanical mind can't handle such things and will stumble forward in confusion and straight into the vat of molten iron and dissolve and it's bye bye killer robot.
Congratulations on completing this advice guide. You are now no longer being hunted by a killer robot. Should you desire any future advice, please consult our other guides such as A Basic Guide to Super Advanced Science Gadget Things For Humans and Why The Effing Hell Isn't This Stupid Thing Working?

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