Sunday, 29 March 2026

God Speaks On US, Israel And Iran Holy War

America’s secretary of defense, Pete Hegseth, sports an array of tattoos with Christian messaging, including one which reads 'Deus Vult', which is associated with the medieval crusades and has been reaching for biblical language to describe the war against Iran. He called on God to 'break the teeth and kill the wicked enemies who deserve no mercy' and should be 'delivered to the eternal damnation prepared for them'. In other words, for Hegseth this is a holy war in which he calls on god to 'grant this task force clear and righteous targets for violence'.
We recently saw Trump being anointed by Fundamentalist Christians and praying for 'continued blessing' and asked God: 'For your grace and protection over him…and over our troops'.
Troops are also complaining that they are being told that this war was all part of God’s divine plan referring to Armageddon and the imminent return of Jesus Christ.
The Israeli prime minister, whilst announcing the start of the war, invoked the Jewish holiday of Purim by comparing present day Iran to ancient Persian who 'rose against us with the
exact same goal of completely destroying our people and today the end of the evil regime will also come' while Netanyahu has also compared Iran to the biblical Amalekites and who the Old Testament God ordered to be completely destroyed including there: 'Men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys'.
Meanwhile in Iran, senior Shia clerics declared the dead Ayatollah as a martyr and as the 'Hidden 12th Imam, who is meant to return on the day of judgement and declared the defence of the homeland as a sacred duty and that it is their duty of all Muslims to support Iran.
God only knows what he thinks of yet another war in his name, so i asked him and he is not a happy chappie as he explained to me.
'I was sitting in my kitchen, scrolling through the War Tracker App' he said 'when I realized the world’s latest scoreboard looked suspiciously like a scoreboard from a medieval tournament. The contenders? America, Israel, and Iran. Their rallying cry? 'God is on our side!'
'Do you any back of the participants?' i asked and he sighed and replied that 'My plan was create galaxies, invent love and get in the decaffeinated Coffee for the Angels' he explained, 'Holy wars, on the other hand, are a bit… extra and I have been on to the celestial HR department to add the clause: 'God will not participate in wars against humans' but they say it's covered under the 'God Moves in Mysterious ways' sub clause. 
I even contacted the USA’s, Israels and Irans representative direct and said that i didn't want them killing each other to show how peaceful they were but all three said that they were just trying to keep the world safe, so how can you argue with mad logic like that?'
'Israel even claimed they had an ancient right of being the chosen people and assumed it was practically a celestial permission slip because: 'We have the holy land so God must be on our side, right?' and i replied that I gave them the land to live in, not a license to launch missiles at anyone who refuses to accept them launching missiles at them and anyway the 'chosen people’ thing was metaphorical. I meant 'chosen one to love' and not the chosen one to fight their neighbours.
I suggested that maybe he didn't make that clear enough in the Do Not Kill Commandment but by now he was in full rant mode.
'As for Iran' he continued, 'They have taken the phrase 'Allahu Akbar' (God is great) to mean 'Allahu obeys whatever is our leaders foreign policy is and their rep even bought a Powerpoint presentation which shows 'Divine Approval Rating: 100%' and the America guy was trying to persuade me that they were  'Just doing God’s job' and 'The Scriptures say…blah, blah, blah' and dismissed my argument that I didn’t create a War‑Instruction‑Manual.
I made love and let there be light and all that so don't not use my name as a shield for violence because i still have the Cosmic pause button and the Angels are demanding i use it else they are threatening to go on strike and stop checking on humans and guarding or protecting them.
So i asked him if he had a message for the warring side and he replied: 'Guys, stop fighting over who gets the right to claim me. I’m busy creating sunsets and rainbows, and I could use a break from all this crap'
There you go then, when it comes to Holy Wars, God thinks you are all dicks.

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