People always asked me, how did you become the man, the myth, the legend and its a long story and starts with Karate, ends with a roundhouse kick to the face of destiny in Hawaii and involves a whole lot of denim in between.
I wasn’t born a martial arts master, I was actually born a relatively normal human being in Oklahoma and my early years were quiet as I was a shy kid. But then I joined the Air Force and got stationed in Korea where I quickly realised that waiting for bad guys to come to us was a waste of perfectly good punching opportunities and that’s where I met Tang Soo Do among the rice paddies, a Korean martial art.
I came back to the States and started opening Karate schools where i didn't so much push the gentle resistance side of Karate and concentrated more on the fists and feet and in the late 60s, I started competing. I won the World Middleweight Karate Championship in 1968 and held it for six years.
They didn't just give me black belts, they practically begged me to take them and I accumulated black belts like some folks collect stamps. Taekwondo? Check. Judo? Check. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu? I eventually mastered so many styles that I had to found my own: Chun Kuk Do, or The Universal Way.
When I retired in 1974 it was because I ran out of people who were willing to be hit by me for a trophy and a man can only kick so many sparring partners before he starts looking for a bigger challenge so then came the movies.
Some folks ease into acting with small roles, maybe a commercial. Me? My first big break was literally going toe-to-toe with Bruce Lee in Way of the Dragon. Bruce was a dear friend and a phenomenal martial artist. He asked me to play his opponent in the final fight at the Roman Colosseum and it was then that I realised my chest hair had its own gravitational pull. It was a simpler time, one roundhouse kick at a time.
The 1980s were a blur of cordite, sweat and sleeveless shirts but the 80's were a terrifying and desperate time to be alive. The world was entering a recession and governments slashed welfare budgets so they could treat themselves to a nice war every now and again. The United States and Soviet Union stockpiled ever more powerful weapons in a game of Thermonuclear Chicken. Duran Duran walked the Earth unopposed like some New Romantic behemoth and I did Missing in Action, The Delta Force, and Lone Wolf McQuade and then came the 90s and I swapped the jungle for the Texas brush and became Cordell Walker.
Walker, Texas Ranger ran for eight seasons. We didn’t have a script for most of it. The writers would just write Chuck walks into a bar and I’d take it from there with me representing Law, Order, and the ability to kick a man through a plate-glass window while wearing a very nice cowboy hat.
Around 2005, something strange happened. The internet discovered me and memes abounded even if nobody actually watched my films but it did keep the youth of today aware that there is a man out there who only backed down to give myself more room for a running roundhouse kick which most people have at some point tried to replicate in their living room and ended up knocking over Grandma's flower vase or her prize-winning porcelain cat.
Beyond the flying kicks and the unwavering stare, there was a man with a set of principles as solid as my jawline. I was an outspoken Christian, and my faith was always part of me and I loved everyone as long as they were not gay, or into science or anything although i do put my extreme right wing views down to being punched and kicked in the head so much in the 70s but i maintain that America is the land of the free, not the land of the free lunches for minorities. Okay? I don't care if they are the ones serving it. They shouldn't get it for free.
So that's my story then and now i know what the internet is like but this is a somber occasion and humor at this particular time would be inappropriate so you are going to mourn and be sad and somber and you will be respectful. Any deviation from this will result in me coming back and delivering an immediate roundhouse kick to your face.
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