Saturday, 11 December 2010

The Most Shocking Wikileak Yet

Ref ID: A459
Created: 0000-25-12
Classification: Confidential
Origin: Bethelehem Embassy

C O N F I D E N T I A L Bethlehem 009127

E.O. 12957: DECL: 11/26/0001 AD
SUBJECT: Child Care in Bethelehem

REF: A. STATE 154674
¶C. JUDEA 2077


SUMMARY: Judea Child Care. Carpenter Held On Charges Involving Underage Mother

25/12/00 AD-- Bethlehem, Judea -

¶1 Child care in Judea is becoming a problem with a case in point the call to the Bethlehem Child Protection Unit when authorities were alerted to a family living in a barn and upon arrival an infant named 'Jesus' was found dressed in rags and placed in an animals feeding trough by his 14 year old mother Mary. The child was taken into protective care.

¶2 During the confrontation, a man identified as Joseph and accompanied by several shepherds, tried to interfere with efforts to remove the infant from the scene by claiming the child was 'God's' but was restrained by officers for his own safety.

¶3 Also being held for questioning are three foreigners who allege to be 'wise men' from an unidentified middle eastern country. The three are being held under the anti-terrorism act. Confiscated from their persons was a large quantity of gold and two other unidentified substances which are currently being tested. None of the three were able to produce passports.

¶4 The owner of the barn is being held for questioning for violating health and safety regulations by allowing people to stay in the stable when his inn was full.

¶5 The location of the minor is confidential and the prospect for a quick resolution to this case is doubtful as the father is middle-aged and the mother definitely underage.

¶6 Mary was taken to the Bethlehem General Hospital where she is being examined by doctors and will undergo psychiatric evaluation because of her claim that she is a virgin and that the child is from God.

¶7 We are of the opinion that this incident is just one of a number that point to a lack of child care in the Judea area and the porous borders that allow potential terrorists to transfer illegal substances and gold across the region.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Love it.