Friday, 19 April 2013

Cliff Is Dangerous To Plant Health

Prince Charles has often been lauded as a nutter for talking to his plants and the man is obviously a ruby short of a crown because rather than talking to them he should have sang some Black Sabbath as this latest test proves.
Chris Beardshaw, from Gardeners Question Time, claimed different genres of music would encourage plants to grow and to prove it he set up four greenhouses and blasted the seedlings with different types of music and the ones that grew up to have the best flowers and most resistance to pests was the blooms that had the heavy metal directed at them.
Hilariously, the greenhouse that had the soothing tones of Cliff Richards played to them all died, i'd like to think it was suicide.
I remember a Mythbusters episode that came up with a similar experiment and the same set of results with the heavy metal plants growing best of all so we have two useful pieces of evidence.
First we know that earth sprouting things grow better to heavy metal so we could use this information to grow bigger and better crops so we don't have to genetically modify our food.
Secondly, conclusive proof that Cliff Richards is crap and all we need to do to stop the flow of drugs from Afghanistan is send drones over the poppy fields blasting out 'Wired for Sound'.

No comments: