The Government have raised the terror threat level but we're British and we can't be scared until the threat level is raised to something that really makes up feel really threatened, and the Brits have been quick to share what really scares us.
The top day-to-day fears that cause a deep down, very British, panic are:
Someone makes you a tea but it's the wrong colour
The words 'Is this seat taken'?
You notice the person in front of you in the 12 Items or Less queue clearly has 13 items.
Hearing 'Let's go round the room and say one thing about yourselves'
A colleague asks if they can use your mug
When a waiter asks if everything is OK and the meal wasn't
Someone getting your name wrong too many times and for too long for you to correct them
When you see somebody dip a knife coated with toast crumbs back into the butter
Someone constantly texting with their keyboard clicks still on
When someone opens the door for you a few foot away so you have to do that awkward jog
When the person behind you in the supermarket doesn't put a 'next customer' sign between your shopping and theirs
'God Save The Queen' keeps playing after the first verse
A stranger trying to engage you in conversation which isn't about the weather
When the waitress says: 'We only have ginger biscuits left i'm afraid'
The TV announcer saying: 'And now a film starring Hugh Grant'
We better hope ISIS never discover the secret to scaring Brits is to leave toast crumbs in the butter, hide all the supermarket next customer signs or make us talk about ourselves in a group.
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