Friday, 26 May 2017

Trump's European Vacation

Donald Trump finally managed to drag his enlarged body and ego across the Atlantic Ocean to Europe where us snotty Europeans waited for him to do or say something stupid.
While it is fair to say he was in a situation where our expectations were not that high, he was relatively restrained but there was some highlights where we could point and laugh at the idiot abroad.
Before he set foot in Europe, he was in Israel where a press statement announced that Mr Trump's would be looking to: 'promote the possibility of a lasting peach', which could have been a typo, could be Trump really, really likes fruit.
If he was actually after lasting peace rather than peach, he didn't try that hard as he signed a contract to flog $110bn worth of arms to one of the worst regimes on the planets, Saudi Arabia.
Then it was on to the NATO summit where he said that anyone not spending 2% of their GDP on defence owed money to those who did which prompted a word in his orange ear that it isn't how things work.
Then there was the physical push on the prime minister of Montenegro as he jostled to get in the front row of the NATO leaders photo. The Montenegrin President, Mr Markovic, said the push was 'natural for Mr Trump' which was diplomatic speak for Trump is a jerk who acted like a jerk so what did you expect.
France's new President Emmanuel Macron did us all proud by appearing to walk up to Trump at the photo shoot, veering off course at the last moment to leave Trump's paw hanging and shaking everyone else's hand first before going to Trump and receiving on of those weird jerky handshake things he does.
My highlight was when he met Pope Francis, not enough that his wife and daughter decided to dress up like something from the Addams Family, but the Pope, who has made no secret that he dislikes Trump, made it even more obvious by keeping his sulky glum face on during his visit. 
There is no truth to the rumours that Trump had asked for a private sitting to confess his sins and the Pope replied that he was only there for 24 hours.
Melania Trump, when she wasn't looking like Morticia, had quite a good trip, first swatting away her husbands hand twice when he went to hold hers and then spending much of her time with sick children, making arts and crafts while her husband was pushing old Montenegrin men around.
All in all, for anyone else his trip would have been a disaster but as the bar is set so very low for the American President, and he was kept away from the media and was briefed to just read out what someone else had written for him (and they managed to keep him away from Twitter) so disasters were kept to a minimum. 
Him and his creepy daughter who seems to go everywhere with him are probably going back to America thinking everything went quite smooth and we are watching him go agreeing that he is a moron, but as he is flying back into a storm of new allegations about his links to Russia, things may not be smooth for long.

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