I'm Not Afraid Of No Ghosts

Whether it is down to the stress associated with lock-downs, social media or those microchips they put in the vaccine but reports of paranormal activity have rocketed in the last two years with the latest sighting being at the aptly named Dead Woman's Ditch in Somerset.
Numerous sightings have been reported of a ghostly woman in white who approaches visitors to the beauty spot and doesn't so much wail or do anything spooky, she just swears at them, telling them to 'F*ck Off'.
Local historians are saying she is probably the victim of a murder that took place in the late 18th century and the reason the place is so charmingly named.
One local dismissed it as a bit like Scooby Doo but the Ghost Hunters South West are now on the case and those meddling kids are poised ready with camera's and microphones to capture the 18th Century potty mouth but when i was a kid you couldn't swing a small child without hitting a poltergeist or something smashing all the plates in the kitchen cupboard and levitating young teenage girls in their beds but they seem to have disappeared.
The Alien's seemed to have gone quiet also, the number of American rednecks being anally probed by Martians has dived significantly although why an alien intelligence would travel across the vast expanses of space just to put something up a hillbilly's backside i never understood.
Hopefully this is the start of a revival although if the ghosts could keep the cussing to a minimum, it's not very classy and it would be appreciated.