The Very Best Tory Candidate is....None Of Them

Last nights TV debate of the five Conservative Leadership contenders proved two things, first that as this is the best the Party can offer, the Tory gene pool of talent is more of a puddle and secondly that Einstein's Special Relativity theory of time bending is alive and kicking because for a 90 minute programme it seemed to go on for days.
Hiring the same set designers responsible for the Weakest Link, the five candidates spent an hour and a half talking without actually saying anything of value which is quite an impressive feat and when they did speak it had all the sparkle of a spent Catherine Wheel on November 6th.
Most disappointing was Badenoch and Tugendhat who everyone knows are so far behind the top three that they will be yoinked out of the race on Monday and needed to really be on their game to win over the undecided MP's but after initially kicking lumps out of Penny Mourdant over her trans rights stance, Badenoch seemed to realise that Penny may win the thing and be responsible for choosing who goes into her Cabinet and visibly shrunk into her podium while Tugendhat just stood on the end like someone who had wandered into the studio by mistake so went with the tactic of shoehorning in the fact he had been in the Army into every answer.          
Penny Mourdant tried her very best to appear statesman by talking in pure banalities and when asked in the Yes or No question section if Boris Johnson was a liar, decided that one word was not enough and used 600 instead and still never answered the question and was so dull and numbing that nobody could actually tell you what she said seconds after she finished saying it.
Current front runner Rishi Sunak made great play of his time running the economy for the past three years which is forecast to have the second lowest growth in the G20 and the highest inflation rate in Europe so nice of him to remind us he is to blame in the middle of a cost of living crisis although he did admit to reaching the conclusion that Boris was not to be trusted so that's a consolation that the man vying for the top job is only years behind the rest of us for spotting a lying, narcissistic sociopath.
Liz Truss was so wooden i fully expected her to merge with the floorboards which considering whenever she spoke, the words she said never made any sense and if they did it was purely accidental, her disappearing from view may have worked in her favour.
Now it is down to the 320 MP's to have their say of the two to present before the 200,000 Conservative Party Members who get the final choice for the other 65 million of us but at the end of the debate it was if none of them really wanted the job and you know what, that would actually suit the rest of us down to the ground.