Today Is...America's Birthday

How you going to spend your Fourth of July this year Yankees? Will you scare the pets with explosions and eat cheeseburgers until you feel sick because it's America's Birthday?
The British don't talk about their defeats in war. We especially don't mention the American War of Independence although the part where we burnt down the White House tends to get a mention but the previous President (yes, THAT one) was happy to tell people in his Independence Day address that the Revolutionary Army soldiers 'took over airports' in 1775.
They just don't teach this sort of thing in American school's but there should be pride in America that due to the American soldiers and their bravery, there was not a single British aircraft in the skies above America during until the 20th Century.
History books show that by the end of the war, not a single airport on the continent of North America was under British control which was strategically important during the Revolution.
You have to ask just why have historians have been ignoring all this for centuries but they do seem to teach them that they escaped the tyranny of King George III but he was happy to let his colony go, he actually sent them a telegram congratulating them on their independence but it does give the man
who did lose the colony a free pass, Prime Minister Lord Frederick North.
It was he who introduced the Coercive Act and took the decision to cut America lose and concentrate British forces on defending the West Indies as their sugar wealth made them more valuable to Great Britain than the thirteen colonies.
So what has America done in the 247 years since they hauled down the Union Flag and replaced it with the Stars and Stripes?
It carved some big heads into the side of a mountain and invented Country and Western music and admittedly, Mount Rushmore does look cool but the Country music thing should be enough for many UN Resolutions and severe sanctions although the argument could be made that the Moon Landing, Hollywood movies, Guns 'n' Roses and Buffy the Vampire Slayer balance things out, just.
As a consequence of events that cold, December morning in Massachusetts, the Americans never really got the hang of the tea drinking thing and either drink it cold or fire radiation at in the microwave so our Birthday presents from Great Britain to you is an electric kettle and the return of something we gave you previously, the letter 'u'.
I'm not sure why you all decided five vowels was one vowel too many and decided to spell words wrongly but it really messes with our spellcheckers over here when our students plagiarise content off the internet so there you go, have that elusive 26th member of the alphabet.
Happy Birthday now go and shoot some bullets up into the air rather than at each other and have a nice day y'all.