Today Is...World UFO Day

Space is big. I mean really, really REALLY big. The nearest star system to ours is Alpha Centauri 4.3 light-years or 25 trillion miles away and my back of a fag packet calculations using the New Horizons spacecraft travelling at 36,373 mph as a baseline, it would take a spacecraft leaving Earth about 78,000 years to get there.
The sheer distance and time to travel from one star system to another could explain why nobody has turned up here from other planets, could be they are on their way but as they only left on the trip to Earth 39,000 years ago, they are only halfway here.
It is an argument i use for why we have not yet met any other intelligent lifeforms from the billions of billions other planets out there because unless they have found a way to sustain travelling at greater speeds which wouldn't turn them into goo, they are either on their way or have spent so long and many generations to get here that they may well have forgotten what they set off for anyway in their 78,000 year old tech.
The National UFO Reporting Centre shows that the most UFO sightings are in USA, Canada, Mexico, Australia, and Scandinavia so if you are elsewhere and you see a strange light in the sky then it is probably an aircraft or a weather balloon but if you are in one of those five and you see a little green man waving around something which looks suspiciously like an anal probe then you might want to run away very fast.
Some people believe that they have already made the trip and have been a bit sloppy in quietly observing us and occasionally we catch them gawping at us but we have a sliding scale in place for just the occasion that they decide to pop down and say hello.
A Close Encounters of the First kind is a visual sighting of an unidentified flying object and there have been plenty of them and there have been quite a few Close Encounters of the Second kind where a physical effect is witnesses such as interference in the functioning of a device or some physical trace like impressions in the ground such as crop circles.
A Close Encounter of the Third kind is where an animated creature is present including humanoids or robots but the Fourth kind takes things up a notch as it is when a human is abducted by a UFO or it's occupants and may or may not include the use of anal probes.
A Close Encounters of the Fifth kind is communication with extraterrestrial intelligence and the Sixth kind is the death of a human at the hands of an alien and the final classification is the Seventh kind the creation of a human/alien hybrid, either by sexual reproduction or by artificial scientific methods.
The only issue we have to sort out now is if they turn up and ask to be taken to our leader, who we take them to because looking around at the leaders we have now, the aliens would be justified in zapping us into a black hole for wasting the 78,000 years it took them to get here in search for intelligent life.