Did I Hear That Right?

There has been two events this week that have had me digging a finger in my ear and wondering if my hearing was going.
Firstly was the case of 20 members of the anti-arms group 'Campaign Against Arms Trade' who were arrested outside of this weeks London arms fair.
The event is a showcase for all manner of weapons systems, ranging from tanks and missiles to rocket launchers and high powered rifles.
In delicious irony, the protesters demonstrating against this haul of weaponry being flogged to whatever despot had the cash, were arrested for 'suspected breach of the peace'.
I can only think that the police thought the people buying these weapons were going to use them for purely decorative purposes.
The second time i was diving for the Q-tips was hearing the Russian general boasting to the World media about the bomb his country has invented that is four times more powerful than the American Mother Off All Bombs.
'All that is alive in a 2 mile radius is evaporated' the Ruskie gloated before adding 'despite its destructive qualities, the bomb is environmentally friendly'.
Phew, that makes it okay then, i was worried for a second there.

Lay Back & Think Of Russia

September the 12th is not especially significant except in parts of Russia where the workers have been given a half day to go home and have sex.
Ulyanovsk has today declared a 'Day of Conception' and is giving couples time off from work to bonk each others brains out.
The idea is to raise Russia's population which has been dropped in recent times and as today is exactly 9 months away from Russia's National day on June 12th, it is time for the dimming of lights and some Barry Whiteski on the CD player.
As an added incentive to do the deed, everyone who has a baby in the local hospital on June 12th will win some kind of prize ranging from electronic goods to a car.
As the typical Russian workday is 8 hours long, and each couple has been given a half day to have sex, the greatest problem for most of the women could be what exactly to do for the other 3 hours and 55 minutes.
I would suggest training to be a midwife because they will be in great demand next June.

Yet Another Prostitution Solution

The government wants police to nick men who pay for sex. For years the law has come down heavily on girls who sell their bodies but not on their customers, the men who fuel the trade. Will prosecuting men who pay for sex lead to fewer women taking up the world's oldest profession?
Highly unlikely, so why not just legalise it?
A similar law which criminalised men who paid for sex was introduced in Sweden eight years ago, but instead of ending the practise, it simply become more hidden, placing the women involved in it at greater risk of violence.
If the government wants to help remove women from a life of prostitution, it needs to offer help, training and a realistic chance of employment and provide counselling and support to those who are emotionally damaged and addicted to drugs and alcohol.
Doesn't matter which gender of the brief sexual relationship you try and criminalise, it is not going to stop until we learn to help those prostituting themselves instead of wanting to constantly punish them.

Differing View Of The Surge

'The military objectives of the US troop surge in Iraq "are largely being met", the top US military commander in Iraq, Gen David Petraeus, has said.
He told a Congressional panel that violence had declined significantly since the surge began in February.

That's one view so lets see what the Iraqi's themselves are saying. For that side of the story let us turn to this ABC/BBC poll conducted in more than 450 neighbourhoods across all 18 provinces of Iraq last month.
70% of Iraqis believe security has deteriorated in the area covered by the US
military "surge" of the past six months.
Between 67% and 70% believe the surge has hampered conditions for political dialogue, reconstruction and economic development.
Only 29% think things will get better in the next year.
Over half (53%) said US troops should stay until security improved including the Iraqi prime minister, Nouri al-Malki, pleading today for the Americans not to leave until Iraq was ready to defend itself.

Someone is lying about the situation in Iraq or else the General had a very different view of matters from behind the safety of the heavily fortified Green Zone to those having to live in less secure neighbourhoods. I really don't put much faith in the group that once claimed Mission Accomplished and that the insurgency was on it's last legs.

Bin Laden's Makeover

We have all grown used to Bin Laden's video's by now. The usual fare is he sits there making threats to blow us all up in our beds and generally wipe us all off the map.
Occasionally the editors drop in a few scenes of armed men running around at some training camps or some such but unless you are a terrorist, it is all much the same old yawnfest.
Yadda yadda death to infidels yadda yadda and so on and so on. And those clothes and unkempt appearance, not the most TV friendly wardrobe you could of picked Bin baby.
Finally, the Al-Queada leader has had his wardrobe assistant shot or beheaded or something because he has turned up in his latest propaganda video appearing to wear a freshly-trimmed and dyed beard and gone are the fatigues of previous appearances.
Despite the image we have of Bin Laden hunkering down in dank, dark caves and crippled in pain from his diseased kidneys, the Saudi has had the time to pop down to the local chemist to purchase a bottle of Raven Black and a beard trimmer.
As he turns 50 this year, the murderous despot could be suffering some form of mid-life crisis so expect him to turn up in his next video gunning a Harley Davidson, wearing a shirt with the top few buttons undone and treating us to the riff of Smells Like Teen Spirit on a Fender Stratocaster as he calls for our downfall.

Blimey, We Won?

The words 'English' and 'sporting success' are rarely ever seen together in the same sentence but this weekend, the land of tea drinkers have been treated to a sporting style avalanche.
On one sunny Saturday afternoon India, America and Israel were all sent off with their tails between their legs and mumbling to themselves about how the hell did they lose to those pasty faced Englishmen.
Impressive against India at cricket, annihilated America at Rugby and Incomparable against Israel at football, we actually don't have to blame the referee for anything or point an accusing finger at Johnny foreigner for cheating us.
Not allowing the thought that the teams we beat are hardly giants in these sporting fields to ruin things (USA play Rugby?), we should all raise a cup and saucer to the mighty English sporting teams and bellow 'We are England, hear us roar!!
Better make the most of it because we all know by the end of the month it is back to being Pulverised by Portugal, Whipped by the West Windes and ambushed by Australia and it will be more a case of 'We are England, hear us whimper pathetically'.

Sideshow Bush

The quote 'Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better' set the tone for George Bush's grasp of geography. Everything else that followed set the tone for him being a muppet.
In what must rank as the most gaffe prone press conference ever, Bush did everything but poke his own eye out with the microphone.
"Thank you for being such a fine host for the Opec summit," Mr Bush said to the Australian prime minister, John Howard, confusing two completely different groupings of nations. "Apec summit," he quickly corrected himself.
Not one to make one cock-up when he can quite easily make two, he then thanked the "Austrian troops" for their work in Iraq.
Then, speech done, Mr Bush confidently headed out - the wrong way. He strode away from the lectern on a path that would have sent him over a steep drop. Mr Howard and others redirected the president to where there were steps leading down to the floor of the theatre.
If only a few rakes had been left laying around on the floor, we could of had a spectacular Sideshow Bob moment.

Madeleine Tragedy Takes A New Twist

For the past 127 days, whispers have dogged the McCann family as they dashed around Europe but today they turned into boos and jeers with the news that Madeleine's mother, Kate McCann, has become a suspect in the "death" of the missing four-year-old.
A large crowd whistled and shouted at Mrs McCann as she arrived back in Portimao for more questioning after detectives quizzed her for 11 hours yesterday.
A family member has claimed she was offered a deal by police - that she would serve only two years in prison if she admitted accidentally killing her daughter.
Police are said to believe that Madeleine was killed accidentally and that her body was hidden, then moved and hidden again.
After studying new evidence found by two sniffer dogs highly trained in finding blood and corpses, Police have suggested that traces of Madeleine's blood was found in a car hired by the McCanns 25 days after their daughter's disappearance while they also turned up a scent of a corpse in the child's bedroom.
Gerry McCann's sister Philomena said Mrs McCann was offered a deal through her lawyer to confess to killing her daughter by accident and then disposing of her daughter.
Mr McCann is now being questioned in the same police station in Portimao, Portugal.
Understandably, the feelings of everyone for the parents have moved into a grey area somewhere between sympathy and suspicion but for a growing minority, they were in the suspicious zone a long time ago.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho

Oh well, summer holiday over and hi ho, hi ho, it's back to blogging we go.
I wasn't around much in August but didn't know what to do with this blog while i was out and about gallivanting.
So what should we do with our blogs when we are off on our jollies?
Should i have made an announcement that i am not going to be about much for the next 4 weeks or was i right to just drop by every now and then for a few minutes to keep it ticking over?
A friend offered to take over for a month but it didn't feel right handing over the keys to someone else.
Anyway, i am now back to do more of the usual mix of Bush baiting and hippy tree hugging crap that i usually do.

Stunningly Bad Decision

Until now British police have been armed with a truncheon, handcuffs and a pointy helmet with the idea of arming our officers being mooted but dismissed as a step too far. As a halfway option, some police forces have been trialing the Taser stun gun.
The trials complete, the Association of Chief Police Officers will now make Tasers "readily available" for "conflict management" at incidents of "violence and threats of violence of such severity that they will need force".
Until now, Tasers, which emit a 50,000-volt electric shock, have been used only by specialist officers as a "non lethal" alternative to firearms. However, they can now be used against all potentially violent offenders even if they are unarmed.
Chillingly, the decision not to ban their use against minors and tests whether the weapons could cause a miscarriage if used on a pregnant woman, is raising serious concerns.
Those of us who are old hands at protests have seen the baton charge by the riot squad, have heard the sickening thud of baton against skull or kneecap and wonder just what lays in store for future demonstrators.
It is not the idea of stun guns i am against, i really cannot say with my hand on my heart, that i trust the people wielding them. Indiscriminately thrashing your baton around is bad enough, blindly firing 50,000 volts into a crowd of protesters is another thing entirely. As is shooting children with what has proved to be a lethal dose of electricity.
CBS NEWS states Tasers killed 10 adults in America last month alone and now the Home Office says it’s ok to use them on kids?
Should i even be typing that last sentence outside of some future dystopian novel?