Monday, 1 December 2014

God Banned Christmas Trees

For someone who can do anything he wants at any time, God sure messed up having his only begotten son be born on Christmas Day because as anyone with a birthday on December 25th will tell you, nobody cares about blowing out candles when Santa's in town.
Maybe that is why when he wrote his book of what you must do to get into his house in the clouds, he tried to ruin Christmas by flat out forbidding Christmas Trees in the Bible.

Jeremiah 10:2-4 specifically states:'Thus saith the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.
3 For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe.
4 They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not'.

That's pretty conclusive, the Lord saith don't be a heathen and bring trees into the house and decorate them although he doesn't specify what happens if you do, God is not averse to a bit of vengeance so you can expect to be on the receiving end of a good and proper smitting.
Would seem such a shame to live a life free of sin and turning your other cheek to find out the pearly gates are locked to you just because you stuck a few baubles on a conifer once a year so if you are of a religious bent it might be safer to just go with the Hello Kitty advent calendar this year or if you must, throw some tinsel over the umbrella plant and wish Jesus Happy Birthday.

No comments: