After a successon of leaked emails, the newest email leaked as a result of the hacking attack on Heaven shows the chain of events which led to the Christmas Celebration.
From: God@Heaven.com
To: AngelGabriel@Heaven.com
Hi Gabe - Got a problem with my new wi-fi connection, no reception here. Can you email VirginMary@Nazareth.com for me and let her know she will soon be pregnant with my kid. Thanks.
PS. Can't decide between Jesus or Colin for kids name so you decide.
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From: AngelGabriel@Heaven
To: VirginMary@Nazareth.com
Hi Mary. Good news, you have been chosen to be the recipient of God's immaculate seed and bear the saviour of the World. Short notice i know, soz. PS. His name is Jesus. Any probs let me know.
--
From: VirginMary@Nazareth.com
To: CarpenterJoseph@hotmail.com
Hi babe. You will never guess what happened today. I'm preggers by God LOL!!! Will explain when you get home. xx
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From: CarpenterJoe@hotmail.com
To: VirginMary@Nazareth.com
WTF!! and How TF? You're a virgin!!
--
From: AngelGabriel@Heaven.com
To: CarpenterJoseph@hotmail.com
Hi Joseph. I see Mary told you about the baby. Sorry if it ruined your plans but God does things in mysterious ways so they say LMAO. Seriously, d/w.
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From: CeasarAugustus@Rome.com
To: CarpenterJoseph@hotmail.com
cc: VirginMary@Nazareth.com
Please head to your hometown of Bethelehem for the census. Register names of first borns on arrival and receive a free toga.
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From: CarpenterJoeseph@hotmail.com
To: DonkeyRentals@Vehiclehire.com
Hi, can i please hire a donkey from December 20 to December 31.
--
From: CarpenterJoseph@hotmail.com
To: SunnySideInn@Bethelehem.com
Hi, can i please book a room for 2 adults from Dec 20 to Dec 31 and a place for a donkey.
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From: SunnySideInn@Bethelehem.com
To: CarpenterJoseph@hotmail.com
Hi Joseph. Sorry but fully booked those dates. I do have a stable you can rent for those dates at cheap rates.
--
From: Wisemen03@magi.com
To: VirginMary@Nazareth.com
Hi Mary, congratulation on the imminent birth of the Lords child. Can you forward address as we would like to visit.
--
From: Melchior74BC@magi.com
To: Belthazar@magi.com; Gaspar@magi.com
Hi guys. Any ideas for baby gifts? Camel has been stolen so looks like im traveling on foot unless one of you can give me a lift.
--
From: Belthazar@magi.com
To: Melchior74BC@magi.com
Not much notice and it's early closing today so all i could get was some Frankincense. Gaspar says he has some Myrrh he got last birthday he won't ever use so he will give it that. Gold is always handy so grab some of that. My Camel is a two seater so pick you up about 8-ish.
--
From: VirginMary@Nazareth.com
To: Wisemen@magi.com
Hi, all are welcome. We are in the stable behind the SunnySideInn, Bethlehem. Excuse the mess, its a bit of a pigsty. Literally ROFLMFAO
--
From:VirginMary@Nazareth.com
To: AngelGabriel@Heaven.com; God@Heaven.com
Hi, Baby born all healthy. Called him Jesus as instructed. Joseph bit confused over what is going to happen on Father's Days but excited about showing him how to use a hammer and nails. Have to go, a sheep is nibbling at Jesus's blankets. Will email later re: Maintenance payments and if you have any ideas what to do with 2lbs of Myyrh, they will be gratefully received.
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