Rapture Definitely Coming 2021

Ever since their guy was nailed to a plank of wood, Christians have been predicting that he is coming back to usher in the end of the World and after many false starts, they are predicting that 2021 is the year that they are definitely, positively, 100% certain it's going to happen.
American evangelist, Harold Lindsey, suggested that the Rapture would occur in the Eighties but after forty years of scratching his head and checking his maths, he has announced that he misread Matthew 24:32-33 and Psalm 90:10 and when he recalculates, it's actually 2021 the Lord returns to smite us, not the eighties.
Easy mistake to make, i am forever getting my Matthew and Psalms confused, it's exactly how i ended up ordering a West African Dwarf Goat off ebay rather than the 10ml of Cherry Bakewell e-Liquid i was after so we can cut him some slack and take his words at face value that 2021 will see the rapture finally arriving.
In order to find out what is going to happen and what we can do about it, i turned to the one and only source that can give us the answers, Blondie, who famously had a song all about it although her advice is: 'And you get in your car and you drive real far, And you drive all night and then you see a light, And it comes right down and lands on the ground, And out comes a man from Mars. And he shoots you dead and he eats your head, And then you're in the man from Mars, You go out at night, eatin' cars'.
So according to Blondie, the sinners will be shot and eaten by a man from Mars before going out to eat your Neighbours Nissan Micra so i'm a bit hesitant about leaving this to 80's New Wave bands but Professor Tom Meyer of the Shasta Bible College & Graduate School in California should know so lets ask him instead.
He says there are 7 stages until we are 'raptured'. First will come apostasy which is a revolt in the Christian Church, then the Antichrist will be revealed and then announce he is above God himself and in the fourth stage he will display himself as the real Messiah.
The fifth event is 'the mystery of iniquity' which includes the presentation of gross injustice, wickedness or sin and then in the sixth and seventh events the true Christ will show up and finally consume the Antichrist and his believers.
No mention of Car eating so i don't know where Debbie Harry got her information from it seems that once the true Christ rips the sky open, you're only going to have seconds to figure out which of the many religion's doing the rounds are right.
A wrong decision now could really cost you but if you choose right don't spoil the moment with smugness because it'll be obvious to everyone just as they are being consumed by whatever God is doing the consuming that you picked the right one, so there's no need to rub it in.
Good luck people.