Taxi For Trump

 A taxi pulls up outside the White House and Donald Trump puts his bag in the boot and climbs inside and tells the driver to take him home.

'I thought i recognised that dodgy barnet, hiya Mr Trump. I'm glad i got that suspension reinforced on that side. Where's that you say? New York? I don't usually go that far north, I'll tell you that for nothing. The traffic's a bit slow today around here, lots of people, certainly more people than the last inauguration, Oi Darling! This is a street, not a bleeding waiting room!
Don't get me wrong, Mr Trump, it's not that I have a problem with your type, Republicans i mean, I'm not prejudiced nor nothing, some of my best fares are awful racists, but we don't have many one term Presidents round this way. To be perfectly honest, the last Republican wasn't very good either so if somebody offered me the choice of having my knackers slammed in the car door or another four years of you, i'd be nursing some heavily bruised plums right about now if you know what i mean. Right, watch me cut this muppet up. Lovely.
So you and Melania got to move back to New York now then, don't blame you for leaving Washington DC, too many Trump supporters there wrecking the place after you told them to. Bit of an own goal for you that one wasn't it, who would have guessed so many of your supporters were such violent morons. Oi Sweethreat, pick a lane why dontcha.  
'Ere, maybe you can have a medical to get the ol' noggin looked at. You might not want to mention your idea about the bleach treatment in front of them though. I don't mean to get personal, but what do they do in those medicals? Do they shove anything up you? I wouldn't have it, I'll tell you that much. They can stick their probes up their...blimey, get a look of the bumpers on that!
Hey Donny, can i call you Donny? Donny, so do you think that you lost because most of your supporters were the ones saying there was no such thing as Coronavirus before dying of Coronavirus? ... Bless 'em, bunch of Muppets. C'mon luv, you could drive a bleedin' tank through that gap.
Your very quiet if you don't me saying, i thought you would be more chatty, at least throw out a few lies about how great you were, especially as you can't tweet anymore, you being a danger to people and all that. Look at this idiot...Oi, where you learn to drive you clown!
What happened to your wall then? My mate reckons if you had spent less time dicking about on your phone and playing golf you might have built it, your golf game must have improved brilliantly while you was President, because you sure wasn't spending much of your day doing Presidential things were you. Worst President ever i hear but c'mon, there's been 40 odd so at least one of them must have been worse than you.     
Here we are then, Mr Trump, New York. I would stop, but I don't trust these New Yorkers with my alloys. I do have to ask you though, Mr Trump, what are you going to do now you ain't the main guy anymore standing in front of crowds of people? My brother-in-law was in a band in the 80's and used to play in front of thousands and he says it's not all it's cracked up to be. You can ask him yourself... 'Ere, I had that Barack Obama in the back of my cab once, huge hands he had, massive they were.
What? No tip, you tight fat basta....