Special Guest Blogger: Saint Clare of Assisi

I was born into a rich family but after hearing Francis of Assisi preach during a service, i decided to dedicate myself to God and i approached him afterwards and asked him if i could join his order so he cut my hair and exchanged my nice clothes for a plain robe and veil and he sent me to a convent of the Benedictine nuns of San Paulo, near Bastia.
My father wasn't best pleased and came to drag me back home but i clung to the altar of the church screaming and Francis intervened and peeled me off the masonary and sent me miles away to another monastery in Subasio out of the reach of my father and given a small dwelling.
News soon spread and women would come to live in our enclosure and i founded the Order of Poor Ladies and considering this was the early 13th Century, it was a full time job and while many of the poor's only worldly possession was a pot which had Do Not Fill With Urine written on the side of it, what they did have plenty of was disease and i would often come down with whichever unpleasant malady was doing the rounds.
It was during one of these bouts of sickness that i was laying in bed wiping snot and flem from my nightdress and wondering how the mass i was too sick to attend was going when i heard chanting coming from the corner of the bedroom.
I set my vomit bucket aside and stared into that corner and saw the Mass being performed right on the wall of my room in glorious technicolour which is why i was named the Patron Saint of something called Television which is something a Scotsman came up with 700 years later.
Unfortunately nobody invented it earlier, it would have made those quiet nights in the monastery go a lot more quicker but we had enough excitement when the Roman Emperor Frederick II sent his army to attack us.
I prayed for the local's to defend us and they did so thanks God but i then endured a long period of poor health and i died on 11 August 1253 at the age of 59 which presented a problem for the Church when they granted me Sainthood because that day was already the Feast Day of Saints Tiburtius and Saint Susanna so they moved mine to the next day and then thought bugger it and bumped the Saintly pair off the saints calendar and moved me to August 11th, sorry guys.