Tuesday 8 March 2022

Special Guest Blogger: Roger Moore

My first steps into the world of Entertainment was as an apprentice cartoonist but that didn't last long after i accidentally ruined some animation cels, and the company i worked for wasn’t big on second chances and fired me on the spot.
My father was a policeman and my big break came when the house of director Brian Desmond Hurst got burgled and my dad was put on the case and one day he mentioned that his son was looking into getting into movies and the Director told him to get me along to the studio and he would put me in his upcoming film Caesar and Cleopatra as an extra standing at the back holding a spear somewhere.
At 6’4 with golden hair and deep blue eyes, i got quite a bit of attention from the females on set and seeing how popular i was with the ladies, Hurst decided to offer me the chance to go to the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts (RADA) to learn the acting chops i would need.
I didn't last long there but i met and married wife number 1, Doorn Van Steyn, but after my career didn't go anywhere we had a blazing row and she threw a teapot at my head so i decided she may not be the best choice as a spouse and left her.
I then met wife 2, Dorothy Squires, who was a famous singer and introduced me to all the right people and my career started taking off with roles in film and television. Meanwhile, Squires’ career declined and she never threw any teapots, opting for a guitar instead which she smashed over my head.
When i met wife number 3, Luisa Mattioli, wife number two didn't take it very well and threw a brick through my living room window but amidst glazier invoices came a letter asking me to try out for the role of secret agent Simon Templar in The Saint.
It was such a hit that when the role of James Bond came along i snapped it up as long as they never made me run, i ran like a lanky giraffe and they agreed to use a body double if i ever had to run on film.
I made seven Bond films in total then went on to become a UNICEF’s Goodwill Ambassador and leave wife number 3 for wife number 4 and she hit me with a £10 million divorce settlement which at least wasn't a guitar or teapot but i managed to stay with this one until i died of prostate cancer at the age of 89.

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