Weather Explained To A 5 Year Old

As we watched the weather forecast which was talking about thunderstorms to hit our part of the South Coast tonight, my young niece turned to me and asked me what was a thunderstorm.
I smiled at her, and looking down at her face full of wonderment and then in dread at her hands full of chocolate and fearing for my cream coloured sofa, i decided it was time to explain to her the meteorologically correct reasons why we get different types of weather.
I began with Thunderstorms seeing as that was what she asked about and explained that Thunder was the clouds banging together and lightening was God or sometimes Jesus using a torch to check that the clouds were not damaged.
I then went on to rain which is God, being a man and having the inherited man disease of being unable to aim his wee the 2ft from his midriff to the toilet bowl accurately most of the time.
Snow is God going a bit mad with the Holy Talcum powder after his bath and you know that song about Beans being the musical fruit and the more you eat the more you toot, well God does like his beans on toast and i mean he really likes his beans on toast.
Fog is God having his early morning cigarette which he does on the sly sometimes before Jesus gets up which is why you mostly see it in the morning and finally, sunshine is when God is just chilling watching TV or something, so the big galoot isn't doing anything to effect us down here.
She seemed happy with that and returned to her chocolate bar and then turned back to me and asked why did God make wasps?  
Ah, your uncle is the animal expert and he's in the kitchen so go ask him i said, and don't touch anything on your way out.