Every year my husband asks me if i want some flowers for Valentines Day and i reply something along the lines of not wanting anything, it all being a commercial venture to rip off people and we don't need a special day to show how much we love one another.
Of course if i don't get a card and flowers he will be sleeping on the coach until Boxing Day and scouring the internet for a doctor that could re-attach his testicles but what if you haven't yet found your one?
The choices are either join a dating agency or hope that your soul mate swipes the same way on Tinder or you could just cheat and use a magic spell and the good people of the UK Wiccan Society have provided me with their top Love Spell so give it a go and iron your best little black dress (or suit), get a bottle of champagne and a shoe and prepare for love this Valentines Day.
To sweeten someone’s feelings for you write his or her name on a piece of paper using a red pen. Place white sugar on the piece of paper and drip the wax from a red candle onto it and as the wax drops on the sugar think about the person you want.
Obviously when dealing with emotions, there can be no guarantee that love spells will be successful and i cannot be held responsible for any results of using this spells or any resulting soggy shoes but if you don't have a red pen about your person then you could be in luck if you live close to a Catholic Church because a spokeswoman for the Catholic Enquiry Office, the official body providing information on all things Catholic, said 'There is a lot of evidence to suggest that people who have tapped into prayer groups have found partners. Those who have exhausted traditional routes like online dating should try spiritual networks. Why not come along to a prayer group, it could be your lucky night.'
Yep, obviously been sniffing the incense again but there you have it, if you want a night of passion and a cup of tea with a game of bingo afterwards try heading down to the local Catholic Church.
1 comment:
One of the things i learned a long time ago (like 30 years ago) is that if i ask my wife if she wants flowers, she will say no, but i never brought her flowers that didn't light up her face and mood.
lucyp hubby, just buy her some damned flowers and don't ask her...
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