Thursday 22 February 2024

Virgin Births

Religion of all flavours does like a virgin birth, none of that messy exchange of bodily fluids and it avoids the troublesome question of paternity so we have the virgin's Rhea Silvia giving birth to Romulus and Remus, Net delivering Ra, the patter of Horus's tiny feet after being born of Isis, Nana delivered
Attis and Dionysos was the son of the virgin Semele and Persephone was also the virgin mother of Jason and when Christianity came along, they just had to have Jesus popping out of Mary with no sweaty man involved in the process.
Hinduism, Buddhism and ancient China all have their share of them so Religious history has therefore been laying claim to virgin births since time began so we can expect to see zealot's turn up to an aquarium in North Caroline as another virgin birth this one is even more fishy than the other immaculate conception stories because as a stingray called Charlotte is pregnant despite not sharing her tank with a male for at least eight years.
Apparently there were some sharks in the tank with Charlotte but experts said that it would be biologically impossible for a shark to be the father so they have put it down to parthenogenesis which is a very rare form of asexual reproduction observed in some animals, including fish, birds, insects, and amphibians.
Maybe then we have also solved the issue of all those other virgin births in history but more likely is that in Christianity, Mary was very fortunate to be shacked up with a man who when she told him God had splashed his Holy seed at her and what-do-ya-know, impregnated her with man's Saviour, he went: 'I'm okay with that' and then went about hiring a donkey.