Christmas Cards

We wouldn’t be truly celebrating the Season of Santa without handing over expensive folded cardboard to each other and receiving them from close relatives, friends, colleagues and  from firms that are actually a leaflet disguised as a card which go in the corner of the kitchen worktop along with the pile of old receipts and unopened letters from the bank until January when they’re unceremoniously chucked away.
We also receive e-cards from businesses and they usually go straight into my spam folder but you can’t decorate your house with e-cards and we usually prefer a genuine, physical bit of card, folded in half, that we can stick on a door frame but when you walk into a card shops in the High Street, you can become completely card-blind such is the sheer variety on offer.
There are weirdly rude cards (Bet you can't guess the picture on the one with 'The Human Santapede' written across the top), those  black-and-white 1950s Scene Cards and TV Cards which seems to always be of Mrs Brown or Only Fools and Horses.
There are Insulting Ageist cards, voluptuous woman in a bikini or hunky men in budgie smugglers Cards, arty Cards with photograph of a Christmassy animal, glittery Cards that will cover you hands with shiny bits that you will see on it forever and some really specific ones such as 'To my nephews second husbands mother'.
Some people do it themselves and you get a lovely Family photo Cards with Dad standing at the back in his best blazer, hands on his wife’s shoulders, his two children looking suitably embarrassed as they know they’ll be cringing at their hair in twenty years’ time.
There is also the people who tell you that: 'We’ve decided to give money to charity this year instead of sending cards' which has you thinking have they really given money to charity or they just being tightwads because a box of 20 costs about £1.99 and i know Charities say give what you can afford but come on, do both you tight git.
My personal choice are usually fairly traditional with a snowman or a festive Gonk on it and as part of my 'Keep Religion Out Of Christmas Campaign', not a baby in a manger or a stable full of animals in sight although i did get something close for my brother in law, it's called a Santapede, well, they are wearing Christmas Hats!