An estimated 4.7 to 5.5 million Brits live elsewhere in the World so there is a good chance that one of them may turn up on your doorstep but don't panic because Google has a survival guide just in case you find a Brit inside your house.
You need to find an electric kettle immediately, as your new guest will likely demand a cup of tea within minutes of arrival and then hourly throughout the day and pair it with a biscuit (digestive or rich tea) and use an electric kettle and never microwave the water as this is considered a minor crime and the Brit will exhibit signs of distress upon tasting.
Also be prepared for them to mention the weather within the first five minutes, regardless of what it is doing outside and they will apologise for everything, even if you bump into them
So what does Google suggest if it is an Australian and not a Brit in your living room?
Australians are generally docile when approached correctly but make sure you have a proper cup of tea ready and point them toward the couch, or if it is after 9am, substitute the tea for a cold beer.
Place a jar of Vegemite and some white bread on the table and if they start speaking, do not alarm them by asking for a translation, if they ask for a Chook in the Arvo or ask if you have seen their thongs, then just smile and nod and put some sports on the TV.
Canadian's are also easily managed with the right resources according to Google, so say 'Sorry' immediately as in Canadian culture, exchanging 'sorries' is a formal greeting.
If the Canadian appears restless, if you happen to have a Tim Hortons cup nearby, place it within their line of sight to calm them and if you have maple syrup, ensure it is 100% pure because offering them high-fructose corn syrup masquerading as maple syrup will result in immediate, polite disappointment. As with the Australians, the language can be confusing but the formula is that 'Yeah, no' means No and 'No, yeah' means Yes.
As for if it's an American, the advice is not to panic and immediately fill every available tray with water and place in the freezer as they will expect a glass that is 70% ice, even if it is freezing outside.
Be prepared to intervene at the Kettle as there is a high statistical probability they will try to boil water in your microwave and calibrate your volume as Americans 'inside voice' is roughly equivalent to a public address system.
They might try to hand you cash after you make them a tea or help with luggage as tipping is a cultural thing and never offer them instant coffee as they will just not get it.
Thank you Google.
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