Friday 1 January 2010

Guaranteeing You Keep Your Resolutions

I have given up making new year resolutions because they generally last as long as it takes to smoke a cigarette and drink a mug of coffee the following morning to break them.
It was while enjoying breaking what is usually my third resolution in the pub during the annual New Years Days drink that a friend mentioned an absolute guaranteed way that they managed to keep their resolution last year.
It is a simple but very effective way of keeping your resolution and all you need is your chequebook and a friend who cannot be talked out of doing the deed if it all goes belly up.
This is how it works. Think of the most abhorrent and worst possible cause you could donate to. Could be an Animal Research Lab, a fox hunting charity or the BNP.
Write out a cheque for £100 for your chosen cause and hand to a friend in an addressed and stamped envelope with the express wish that if you break your resolution they must post the cheque and under no circumstances hand it back until next New Year. Genius.
Not only do you have the incentive of not losing the £100, but you are withholding a donation to a cause that you revile.
As this would work just as well at any time of the year, i think we may have stumbled upon a cure for any number of addictions so i hereby declare that i will forward a personal cheque for £100 to the Conservative Party if within the next 12 months, i swear at anyone in Latin while dressed as the Pope. If this doesn't cure me of this habit then nothing will.
David Cameron, tum podem extulit horridulum.
Ok, starting from now.

2 comments:

Kvatch said...

I just don't bother with resolutions anymore. Either I can make a decision to change something in my life, or I can't. Timing is not relevant.

Feliz Año Nuevo de Ecuador, Lucy!

Falling on a bruise said...

I made the same decision Kvatch but mainly because i was just hopeless as keeping them.

I hope you are enjoying South America and a happy new year to you also.