They bought our bridge, our best football teams (and Aston Villa) and now they have gone and bought our chocolate. As the Americans are over here spending their cash, let's see what else we can flog them from our island.
Americans, i couldn't help notice a lack of Royalty in the land of Uncle Sam. In a two for one offer, you not only get the Queen but the Duke of Edinburgh. Put her in front of a crowd and she waves. Put him in front of a non-white person and he blurts out racist comments. Sure to go down well in Louisiana.
Not interested? How about the Loch Ness monster because every country needs a scary monster and Sarah Palin isn't going to be around forever.
Maybe we can interest you in Greenwich, especially the Royal Observatory where time comes from or the Tower of London where in bygone days, people were taken to be tortured and imprisoned, many without good reason. Yes, i suppose you do already have Guantanamo Bay.
What else we got? How about the city of York, the county of Hampshire and we will even throw in the island of Jersey so you can get rid of the 'new' word in front of those places. Think of the time you would save writing out letters to the residents of these places.
Okay, i can see you are driving a hard bargain so I've been saving this one to last. Big Ben.
The Statue of Liberty may stand for freedom from slavery, oppression, and tyranny but basically she is a big French woman stood in your harbour. They didn't even have the decency to make you a new one, they just knocked out a bigger version of a couple of statues they already had in France anyway. Big Ben is unique and has the added bonus of telling you the time rather than just standing their being all French.
It's a deal. We will wrap it up and you can expect delivery within 7-10 working days.
You sure i can't interest you in the Royal Family? No need for that kind of language, a simple no would have sufficed.
9 comments:
Lucy,
i'll gladly exchange nancy pelosi and barbara boxer for one lucy. oh yeah, yawl have to take barney frank too!
q
So how much are left wing journalism professors going for nowadays?
I hear the Queen's going senile. Do we get some type of warranty? I'll tell you what. We'll give you John Edwards, Rick Perry, and Tom Craddick for free and take the worst scum Britain has to offer.
And have we touristy types gotten that bad already? I've never liked tourists much, and the American tourists are the worst kind. If they don't understand what you're saying, say it louder and more assertively. No matter where you are, become greatly offended if they don't speak 'mur'cn (as some folks pronounce "American").
Or is it because we are buying up a lot of international stuff? Funny, we worry about the same kind of thing, American companies being bought up by non-American companies.
But I am only half joking when I say that you Brits should take a bit of pity on us poor "Yanks" (if you should dare to call a Southerner a "Yank"). Britain is like America's older brother. If this analogy makes any sense, we're that kind of younger brother who makes ten times as much money, who is five times as good looking, who is a whole lot cooler, but who still hopelessly looks up to you as some sort of great big brother.
So if we are buying everything in Britain, and gaping over everything we don't buy, it's only because y'all have it, and if y'all have it it must be cool.
As long as i get to choose the State Q and it wonlt be California. That advert (i doubt if you see it) gets right up my nose. I do like the look of Montana though. Looks beautiful.
Thanks for building up my part Cody. I can add a few more noughts to my annual salary now.
The worst scum? I thought you didn't want the Royal Family?
You are like a little brother, you keep taking our stuff!!!
Lucy, I'd be careful about selling anything to the Yanks. They're supposed to be bankrupt you know while some say that they're now owned by China.
Besides, the Queen belongs to Australia too and some Australians (not me) would invade Britain if she were sold.
P.S. Nog says Americans earn ten times more. The lucky ones that have jobs may well do!
I know that a British bank leant Kraft 3/4 of the money to buy Cadbury which seems a bit wrong to me somehow.
I also know you got Prince William down there at the moment. Hopefully some of those royal loving Australians will take him hostage and refuse to let him come back. Here's wishing anyway.
They didn't choose to be born royalty. Who would ever want to be born hereditary object of hate and derision? Y'all make me want to feel sorry for the poor fellows.
"I know that a British bank leant Kraft 3/4 of the money to buy Cadbury which seems a bit wrong to me somehow."
I think it's a bit misleading these days to think of banks, or any multinationals, as being a certain 'nationality'. They're responsible for, and act in the interests of, the shareholders only - be they from England, Taiwan, Mexico or Upper Volta. Joel Bakan's excellent book 'The Corporation' goes into this in good detail.
I will get Cody's great Grandad to have a word with you Nog.
Very true Cheezy but it does seem wrong that we (taxpayers) paid a bank who leant it to an American firm to buy a British firm with a high probability will result in the loss of others jobs.
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