Friday 29 January 2010

Starman, Waiting In The Sky

The Royal Society has been holding a UFO conference in London over the last few days with the fancy title of 'The detection of extra-terrestrial life and the consequences for science and society'.
Basically, the boffins were discussing what would happen if we did find other forms of life out there.
For this we don't need a SETI program or the Hubble Telescope as we have plenty of examples if we leaf through a history book.
Since man first sharpened a stick and found it hurts of you poke someone with it, the first thing we do when faced with another civilisation is slaughter it.
Hola Aztecs. Whack. G'day Aborigines. Splat. Howdy native American Indians. Smack.
That's always assuming that we are the advance ones. If they are and they turn out to be anything like us, we will be the one's herded onto reservations and building casinos.
The biggest question that never seems to get answered is what happens when the ET asks to be taken to our leader?
I think we should sort this question out pretty sharpish because it could happen at any time and how embarrassing in front of our intergalactic brothers and sisters if we stand there trying to work out who our leader is.
A strong contender would be Secretary General of the United Nations, Ban Ki-moon but i imagine the Pope would try and stick his oar in as would Obama and Hu Jintao.
Personally, i'd direct them to have a chat with Silvio Berlusconi. Hopefully they will think we are all as simple as him call off any invasion.

12 comments:

Nog said...

I'd shoot the alien and take his wallet.

Actually, I would postulate that any alien species advanced enough to engage in interstellar travel would have long ago learned the virtue of peace. As humanity has become more advanced we have learned that selling a people stuff is better for both us and them than killing them and stealing what they have on them. An advanced alien species would probably have gone a lot further along this path than us.

David G. said...

Nog, Americans seem to have perfected the art of killing people from other nations by the millions, stealing what they have AND selling to them!

God Bless Amerika (an elitist, warmongering nation dedicated to bringing peace and democracy to what they see as THEIR world)!

Cody Bones said...

So what your saying Daniel is that I shouldn't bother sending you a 4th of July card this year?

David G. said...

Given that there are 300 million other people in America just like you, Cody, I guess your country doesn't have much chance of changing itself into a peaceful, law abiding nation.

Obviously its war against Britain and the French, its slaughter of the Red Indians and bison, its Civil War, its history of the Wild West where guns ruled, etc, has negatively and permanently affected the American psyche.

Obviously you find America's constant warmongering a good thing, Cody. You probably have shares in U.S. armament and munitions companies and probably you're among the small percentage that owns most of the wealth in your nation. You probably also believe that America was born to rule the world and you pray that this will be so.

What America stands for disgusts me, Cody. Its hypocrisy is breathtaking. It is morally bankrupt. It is driven by greed, conceit and religious fundamentalism.

The world would be a better place if America didn't exist! It's no beacon on the hill, Cody, more a cesspit of evil.

P.S. Don't bother about the card, Cody. Just enjoy your selfish American Dream while you can.

Nog said...

And I think that Lucy is right about the Pope. He'd probably try to jump into the fray.

Maybe Ki-moon, Obama, Jintao, Sarkozy, and Berlusconi would have an all out RPS tournament to decide who would represent the world.

David G. said...

Nog, in order to decide who would represent the world we need to decide who is running the world.

Quite obviously, it's those who are ultra-wealthy who pull the strings. Perhaps then it should be a choice between the Rothschild, the Morgans, the Murdochs, the Rockefellers, etc.

Cheers.

Cody Bones said...

Daniel, you really are a moron. Maybe, just maybe you could ask me what I think, instead of lumping me in with your demented view of300 million other people. Knock yourself out there kiddo

Anonymous said...

David,

Hope your recovery is going well.

q

Anonymous said...

I say we send 'em to N. Korea. Since Kim Jong-iL is an alien (obvious isn't it) the new aliens should be able to communicate with him without the usual translation issues...

or they could join the many aliens that live in my small Hill Country Texas community already... they gather at the local Mexican food restaurant most evenings...

q

Anonymous said...

France! We should send 'em to France and see if they hate the French as much as everyone else!

Nahhh. That would be mean. We shouldn't do that to the aliens.

q

David G said...

One day, Cody, you're going to make a comment that actually says something meaningful, something valuable, something that actually shows that you are capable of thinking, that you have some awareness of the world you live in (America is not the world, Cody).

I'm still waiting for that day, Cody. Why don't you surprise us all?

Q, tomorrow I'm halfway through the treatment! Only 20 more times to be zapped and then, eventually, I'll find out whether it worked or not.

Anonymous said...

david,

i've never heard of that many doses... tough course.

being awnry helps...

q