Our man Dave has been stomping around the globe telling other countries how it is. After annoying the Pakistan Government over there terrorist sympathies, he shrugged and said: "I think you should say what you think, and be frank and clear".A politician actually saying what they think may be as rare as a cheerful Scotsman but Dave should go further and really let rip at some other countries.
Dear Government of Canada - You are the second largest country in the World but all you are known for is killing seals pups. Just do something, anything. And stop killing baby seals and pretending it is not a greedy money making racket. And why isn't Celine Dion in prison yet?
Dear Government of Finland - You have the most lax gun laws in Europe and suffer the most gun related deaths and shootings in Europe. Want me to draw you a diagram?
Dear Government of Georgia - Picking a fight with a bigger, more powerful neighbour is stupid enough. Expecting your powerful friends to rush to your side in support is just plum crazy. Then sulking because you won't be allowed to join NATO to start a World War is worthy of making you stand in the corner with the dunce cap.
Dear Government of Israel - Where to start with you. Stop murdering your neighbours and take down that wall and nicking other peoples land and then bleating nobody likes you because you are Jewish. It isn't anti-Semitic, it's because you have been acting like tossers.
Dear Government of North Korea - Do you think that if you keep quiet we won't find out that your people are the most oppressed and poorest in the World? Stamp your feet all you want when you can't get your own way but your 6 nuclear weapons will be destroyed long before they have landed and you will be a smoking North Korea shaped hole before you can skin another Alsatian.
Dear Government of Russia - The Cold War is over. You lost. Get over it and keep your spies that side of the border.
Dear Government of Saudi Arabia - One day the oil will run out and we won't have to bend over backwards to please you anymore. Let's see how international opinion gets along with your authoritarian regime and anti-female, anti-homosexual and public flogging laws then.
Dear Government of Scotland - You know and we know that if you were granted your independence you would be bankrupt. What you pay in is a fraction of what you take out from the pot. Keep quiet and just hope we never say you can go it alone.
Dear Government of the United States of America - If you ever let Paris Hilton leave your country again, we will nuke you. You have been warned.
Go on Dave, let them have both barrells from this uppity little country that doesn't know it's rightful place in the global scheme of things.
3 comments:
hanz,
my guess is Finland is the only country in Europe that allows their citizens to have guns. based on that, it would make sense that they have the most gun deaths.
sometimes i almost think anti-gun freaks are right. it must be a lot better to be stabbed to death... nahhh
q
"sometimes i almost think anti-gun freaks are right. it must be a lot better to be stabbed to death"
Are those our only two choices, Q? Dammit...
As far as Scotland goes, we let them have a smidgeon of autonomy and what do they do with it? Release a convicted terrorist with a faux-terminal illness. Doh! You're right, the people surely wouldn't thank us for letting them have more of a say...
Let's think this through Q. If Finland is the only country in Europe that allows its citizens to have guns, and it has the most gun related deaths then the way to reduce gun related deaths in Finland would be to make it not the only country in Europe that allows its citizens to have guns. Or am i missing something here?
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