Tuesday, 28 December 2010

2011: End Of The World

What would you do if you knew the world was going to end? Definitely end, that is, there being nothing that could be done by governments, science or superheroes to avert the end of human life on earth.
Personally my last day would feature a few rolls of industrial strength parcel tape and Johnny Depp so i have pencilled in a trip to the Post Office on the 20th October next year because according to the EBible Fellowship, the 21st October is Judgement Day.
These helpful chaps have deciphered the Biblical calendar found in the book of Genesis, (chapters 5 and 11) which, as they explain 'can be trusted entirely because they come right out of the Bible'.
So on the 21st May, Judgment Day will begin and the rapture will occur and on the 21st October 2011, the world will be destroyed by fire.
If that date is not good for you, how about the 24th December 2011 which is when the sacred Aztec calendar advises us that the fifth epoch, which began in 3113 BC, will end on Christmas Eve and destroy all human life on Earth.
The Aztec's and the Biblical calendars may be helpful with the exact dates of our demise but there is also a warning of our impending doom next year from the Sci-fi community.
Not alien invasions or massive comets hurtling towards us, but the Photon Belt which apparently is a band of intense photon energy on a collision course with the Earth.
Electricity won't function and there will be three days and three nights of retina scorching blinding light and radiation.
Although we are not given an exact date except next year some time, i'm sure we will notice it when it starts. You might want to stay indoors when it does.
The final proof that 2011 will be our last comes from St. Malachy, an Irish Priest from the 12th Century who prophesied the end of time with the election of the 112th pope from that day in 1143.
Worryingly, Herr Ratzinger is Pope number 111 from when St Malachy made his utterances and is 83 years old so we could be watching the white smoke coming from the Vatican chimney to welcome number 112 in 2011.
I know it is a long shot but if we do all make it through 2011 unscathed, i know where there will be some rolls of industrial strength parcel tape going cheap.


David G. said...

I wonder which nation will bring about the end of the world?

I'd guess it could be the Superpower (or more correctly a Stupidpower). Or it might even be a little mate of the Stupidpower, one located in the M.E. and I'd guess it could happen within 10 years.

What's your best guess concerning who and whan?

Lucy said...

My best guess would be America or China whilst chasing dwindling resources or Israel overeacting and using its nukes or an escalation between Pakistan and India.

Cheezy said...

Are you one of those people who walk around wearing a 'The end of the world is nigh' sandwich board, Dave?

David G. said...

No, I'm just part of a small group of people who use their brains, Cheezy, who can join the dots, who can think outside the square.

I'm sorry that you'll never know how it feels, busy as you are with trivia and infantile thoughts.

Anonymous said...

the problem with connecting the dots (especially outside of the box) is that there are endless possibilities. it is not hard to imagine disaster, thus unwritten history is full of doomers. of course, some doomers did make written history... like Malthus, or the Hale Bob dudes.