Tuesday, 11 January 2011

I Name This Child...

I have always hoped that one day we would get a Pope who went by the name Sicle but it's highly unlikely because the present Pope has got his funny hat in a twist over parents choosing fashionable names over good old fashioned biblical ones.
The Pope whinged: 'Parents should stick with Christian names for their babies, rejecting the trend of distinctive or colorful names.
I'm not sure what Moon Unit Zappa or his sister Diva Thin Muffin Zappa would say about it but i quite like the colourful and distinctive names some parents stick there kids with. It shows that they gave the matter a bit of thought and gave no regard whatsoever to their off springs lifetime of hearing snickering whenever they are introduced.
Besides, we already have far too many people named Mary, John, Paul, Elizabeth, Matthew, Joseph and James clogging up the place so what else has the Bible got to offer the confused Catholic parent to saddle their small child with?
For the girls there is Zippo (Exodus 2:21), Gomer (Hosea 1:3), Hagar (Genesis 16:21) and my personal favourite Dorcas (Acts 9:36).
Names to consider for boys are Ham (Genesis 9:20), Mash (Genesis 10:23), Uzzi (Chronicles 6:5), Festus (Acts 25:1) and what parent would not be proud to call their son Nimrod (Genesis 10:8).
The Pope was right, there is a rich vein of biblical names for the discerning rosary carrying parent to choose from and i look forward to a future where i can hear the phrase 'Nimrod, Dorcas, your tea is ready' echoing around the parks up and down the land.

9 comments:

Cheezy said...

With these latest bon mots coming hot-on-the-heels of the pronouncement that it's now OK to use condoms (just so long as you're a gay male prostitute), papal edicts are becoming compulsory (hilarious) reading.

Word Verification = buttho

The Ghost of Richard Nixon said...

If I remember my Quaker bible lessons, Sarah is a biblical name ...

Lucy said...

Good old Ratzinger, he is good for a laugh.

Quaker always makes me think of porridge.

David G. said...

I think that some names almost perfectly describe the person who carries them. Perhaps people grow to be like their names.

Cheezy for instance (though Greasy would be even more appropriate).

Anonymous said...

Is Stew Padaso somewhere in the Bible?

Q

Cheezy said...

"Cheezy for instance (though Greasy would be even more appropriate)."

I see what you did there! Oscar Wilde in da house.

Just when you think Dave's already scaled every possible height of witty perception and corruscating satire, he goes and surprises you with something like that. Brilliant.

Lucy said...

Stew Padaso sounds like something you would find in a cookery book q.

Anonymous said...

sounds like "stupid asshole" if you say fast... teenager humor.

q

Lucy said...

Doh, i get it now.