UK Government Safety Announcement

Britain it seems, is halfway towards falling back into recession with the announcement that the economy shrank by 0.5% at the end of 2010.
Nothing to do with the Government economic policy though according to Dave, it was because of the snow.
If the economy can go backwards during the busiest shopping period of the year, and before the VAT increase, job losses and public service cuts hit, you don't need a degree in economics to see we are paddle less up a very smelly creek.
Yes, we are being run by a group of rich boys who don't have the first idea of what they are doing so it's time to listen to the safety announcement the Conservatives are planning to broadcast in case of the countries complete collapse.

Good afternoon, can i have your attention please.
The Conservative Government would like to take this opportunity to welcome you plebs aboard this country destined for hell in a handcart and we would just like to go through some safety procedures.
Please ensure that your belts are fastened at all times throughout the journey and should be tightened at regular intervals until they are extremely painful.
In the very likely event of an economic collapse and we are left floating adrift by George Osborne's incompetence, the emergency exits are here, here and here but they are just for us rich people.
To speed up the evacuation, make sure that all your possessions have already been sold and as the country slips slowly beneath the waves, feel free to weep pathetically .
It just remains for us to thank you for travelling with the conservative party and we hope you have a very enjoyable voyage.