I'm not religious but if i was forced to choose a religion, there are a few i would discount immediately. Any of the ones where you have to donate money from your wage packet are out straight away as are the silly ones like Scientology and Mormonism.
Judaism is no good, all that removing foreskins and not eating bacon while Islam is a no-no because of Ramadan.
My Muslim friend tells me the exact date of Ramadan moves around so they must hate it when it falls in summer like this year and they can't eat or drink during daylight. It must be much easier to handle in winter when the refraining from eating and drinking only lasts from 9am-3pm rather than the 6am-9pm like it is now.
My choice of religion would be one where i don't have to do anything, it doesn't cost me anything and i can live the sort of life i choose and sin left, right and centre but as long as i repent before i take my last breath, i'm in heaven.
Actually, that's the Church of England which is what i am. That's handy so why Muslims are fasting for 15 hours a day and Jews are turning up their noses at bacon sandwiches and Catholics are sweating on the rhythm method, i'm stuffing my face all day long with all manners of pork, carving images of other Gods on a Sunday while blaspheming like a trooper and covering my neighbours donkey, but as long as i have the split second to repent before i die, i'm going to end up in the same place as all Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Sikhs and all the rest of them.
Doesn't seem fair really but i'm not complaining because the Church of England is perfect for me because it's a complete blag. Cya up there guys, i'll be the one smelling faintly of gammon steak.
2 comments:
I'm baptised C of E too, but I've been gradually moving away from them over these past few decades... They're a bit too trendy and liberal for this particular atheist ;)
Actually I was having a chat to my boss who lives in one of those 'picture perfect' little villages somewhere in Hampshire. His next door neighbour is the local vicar (Anglican of course) and this what my boss said about him:
"He's one of those modern Anglican vicars".
I asked him what he meant by that.
"Well, I don't think he believes in God, for a start..."
The christian rock is a it naff but i like the idea of a religion that you can just ignore until the last second then you can hedge your bets just in case.
I think i prefer the old fashioned image of the pipe smoking vicar with white hair and woolly jumpers.
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