Monday, 26 November 2012

The Miracle Of Mumbai

Only Fools and Horses: The Miracle of Peckham - While in the local church, Del Boy witnesses a miracle when he notices that the a statue of the Virgin Mary on the altar appears to be weeping. Within days, reporters and cameramen from all over the world are in Peckham to cover the story when after a few more miracle weeping sessions, the priest realises that the miracles only occur when it is raining. Upon inspecting the church's roof, he finds that all of the lead tiles are missing.
Only Fools: The Miracle of Mumbai - Local people declared a miracle when tears began trickling down the face of a statue of Jesus at the local church. Locals began collecting the holy water and the Church of Our Lady of Velankanni began to promote it as a site of pilgrimage. On inspecting the Church's plumbing, it was discovered that the dripping water was due to clogged drainage pipes behind the wall where the statue stood.
Unlike Del Boy, the man who discovered the dodgy pipework received death threats, was charged with blasphemy and is now seeking exile in Finland as an arrest warrant was issued.
It seems that keeping up the cash flow from the miracle is more important than stopping the sewage flow which caused the miracle. I just hope that nobody is christened in it as i wouldn't want to be the vicar who has to explain to the parents why the water had a faint yellow tinge to it.


Cheezy said...

I love this story. It's such a great exemplar of the supernatural medieval-based mindset when it comes into conflict with rationality.

Although I confess, when I read the title 'Miracle of Mumbai' heading, I thought I was going to read about Monty and Swann bowling England to an excellent (and rare) win on India soil!

Lucy said...

Its funny because i saw this episode of Fools and Horses not so long ago on UK Gold or whatever channel shows it and when i read this it was like it was based on that episode.
This time next year Vikram, we will be millionaires.

Lucy said...

I saw an advert for Freddie Flintoff's boxing debut this weekend. I wonder how many times he will have to be punched on the nose before he realiases he should have carried on with the cricket.

Cheezy said...

Once might do it... if it's a good punch...

He couldn't have carried on with cricket though... well, not bowling... The rest of him may only be in his mid-30s but his left knee is an octogenarian. He's basically got no cartilage left in it.