It's starting to look a lot like Christmas especially as the posters are now up advertising the big turn on the City Christmas lights next week, something that used to be performed by the Lord Mayor but now has morphed into a contest between rival cities into who can get the biggest stars to count backwards from 10 and push a button.
If i had my way i would push the whole of the my Councils 2018 education budget towards Johnny Depp and get him to do ours which may explain why i was asked to leave the Council meeting, that and stealing the stationary.
So instead of having to explain to the kids why they had to share pencils and school dinners would consist of a small bowl of lentils next year, the Council decided in their wisdom to get a former page 3 model and the striker from the local football team.
Along with the lights every city seems to now have a German Market which is a few huts selling mulled wine and hot dogs with German sounding sausages which are about as German as a didgeridoo.
Santa will usually put in an appearance and the local radio station will turn up and play Christmas songs and a general Festive atmosphere will settle over the city.
Strangely, i have yet to hear a Christmas song yet, usually by the first week on November i am on my fifth or sixth hearing of Slade's 'Mery Christmas Everyone' in shops but this year they have been a bit slow to throw out the Halloween stuff and bring out the Christmas fayre.
I'm sure once the former Page 3 Girl has done her bit the shoppers paradise which is Christmas will land with a thump and as our Council has this year decided to use the money they have saved hiring Johnny Depp to install a ice rink in the middle of the Town Centre, i'm sure Slade's Christmas favourite will put in an appearance, probably as the medic is lifting me off the rink into the back of the ambulance with my leg pointing the wrong way.
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