Sunday, 5 November 2017

Remember, Remember The 5th of November

Back in days of yore, one of the finest British traditions was tying people to poles and setting fire to them but in the early 17th Century, as well as women with warts and Frenchies, we added Catholics to the potential burnee's list after Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament and along with it King James.
We have always remembered the anniversary to this day although due to Health and Safety rules we can no longer burn real Catholics and have to make do with burning effigies instead.   
The gunpowder plot was a comedy of errors as the original date of Parliament opening was delayed until November due to the plague so the first batch of 36 gunpowder barrels had decayed so they had to wheel in more and the plot was overheard by a soldier on the other side of the wall of the cellar they were using and then one of the conspirators wrote to his MP friend telling him to stay away from Parliament on the 5th as they were going to blow it up. 
The letter went to King James himself and Guy Fawkes was caught red handed entering the cellar below Parliament with a match and he was charged with high treason and the judge ordered that he be  drawn by horse to the gallows where he would be hung until he was halfway between living and dead, then his genitals would be cut off and burnt before his eyes and his bowels and heart removed. Then he would be decapitated and his quartered and the dismembered parts of the body displayed so that they might become prey for the fowls of the air.
The execution didn't go to plan as after the initial drawn part of the sentence, the hanging broke Fawkes neck killing him instantly but undeterred, the Government still had his genitals removed and burnt before quartering him between four horses and gutted anyway.
Ever since, 5 November has always been called Guy Fawkes Night or Bonfire Night and it became the custom to burn an effigy of whichever public figures have become targets for the public's ire, Margaret Thatcher was always popular in the 80s but George W Bush and Tony Blair were regular recipients in recent years and Donald Trump was by far the most popular effigy last year and the countries largest bonfire in Lewes have gone with Trump again this year and partnered him with a giant Harvey Weinstein, two very deserving targets.

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