Saturday, 7 July 2018

Sacrificing Virgins To Win The World Cup

Such a shame that it is Sweden that England beat today, i have a lot of time for the Swedes and would have been cheering for them had it been anyone but England that they were playing in the World Cup Quarter Final today.
Oh well, Que Sera Sera as Doris Day once said and it's onward and upwards for England as we progress to the sharp end of the competition with only Croatia now standing between us and a date in the Final against the French or Belgians.
Many people, me included, decided a while ago that whichever God or Godess was responsible for deciding football matches, they were smiling on England but who should we be sacrificing animals and offering our virgins to just to make sure? 
In Greek mythology Nike is responsible for athletes but in Roman mythology it is Victoria while in Norse it is Ullr we should be offering our thanks to but before we sharpen our knives and start building pyres and looking for virgins, the Christians with their one God have their own person responsible for football, Saint Luigi Scrosoppi.
In the early 19th Century, Luigi built orphanages and used sport as a way to breed the values of fairness, perseverance, diligence and determination amongst the orphans.
As Christians are not so much into the sacrificing animals or setting fire to virgins we could just offer up some prayers that Ivan Rakitić and Luka Modrić come down with a stomach bug Wednesday morning but as all the religions are basically the same, we could hit all bases in one go by sacrificing Manchester United fans therefore meeting the criteria of offering dumb animals and virgins
to the Greek, Norse and Roman Gods and as a fan of proper football, earning the approval of St. Scrosoppi.
The English FA should start making a space in the trophy cabinet because by George, i think we've got it covered.

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