How To Vote For Newbies

For some, this Thursday will be the first time that they have had the opportunity to partake in an election and though putting a cross next to a name and dropping it in a box sounds quite straightforward, there are some rules set out by the Electoral Commission that need to be followed.
Go back home if you have not registered to vote, are under 18 on the day of the election, are not a British, Irish or qualifying Commonwealth citizen, not resident at an address in the UK (or a British citizen living abroad who has been registered to vote in the UK in the last 15 years) or are a prisoner, have been found guilty of corrupt or illegal practices in connection with an election, are a member of the House of Lords or a member of the Royal family.
So after checking you are not the Queen or Prince Charles, you give your name and address to the staff inside the polling station and you will be given a ballot paper containing a list of the people  and parties you can vote for and you take that to a privacy booth.
A big no-no is taking photographs as they could lead to a 'potential breach of privacy' so no selfies or you risk a fine of £5,000 or six months in prison but more likely you will be asked to delete the picture.
While you can take your mobile phone into the polling station, you will be tutted at loudly and asked to take it outside if you try to use it to send a text, or make or take a call and Tweeting while in the booth is also frowned upon as it is illegal for the same reasons as you can't take a photograph and it is recommended that if you must tell the world how you voted in 140 characters, wait until you are outside the polling station.
Dress sense is key and you can't just stroll up wearing political party clothing such a t-shirt with a political slogan on it as it is considered intimidating and you will be refused entry. While a man can be topless, women's upper halfs must be covered to avoid distraction. You are not allowed to wear a rosette either, only the candidates can pull off that particular fashion statement.
Polling station staff can refuse entry to anyone who has been drinking alcohol or under the influence of drugs if they are being disruptive and will be asked to return when they have sobered up.
If you make the error of accidentally ticking the box for the wrong candidate, you can ask for another ballot paper as it isn't official until you drop it into the ballot box.
If you write anything anything on the ballot paper except your 'X' it will probably be counted as 'spoilt' and rejected and finally my own special thing is DON'T SUCK OR CHEW THE PENCIL, i might have to use it after you!