Stupid, Stupid, Stupid

Election Eve - Conservative Party HQ

Pritti Patel: Cheer Up Boris, we got the election in the bag
Boris Johnson: I'm sorry I still can't believe the vote is a stupid enough to give us another five years
Pritti: Look I'll show you, hey you over there, how is your small business going?
Voter: Well, it's gone bankrupt actually
Pritti: And what are you going to vote in the election?
Voter: Oh well, Conservative I suppose
Pritti: See Boris, stupid stupid stupid
Boris: Yes, all right, he's stupid but there's millions of them
Pritti: Look, however much we cock up the economy, or slash benefits or close down Hospitals, they still vote for us
Boris: Let me try, excuse me, I've come to tell you that due to our Brexit policy you've been made redundant and we will have to repossess your house
Voter: That's awful, i'm going to be homeless and jobless?
Boris: Sorry, can i rely on your vote tomorrow?
Voter: I suppose so
Boris: Amazing, he's still going to vote for us. I can't believe how stupid these people are
Pritti: Another example? Excuse me, we're closing the hospital you were going to and the nearest one is 200 miles away and there is currently a 14 hour wait to be seen.
Voter: But i'm in incredible pain, but can't be helped i guess.
Boris: Can we rely on your vote tomorrow?
Voter: I guess, don't want those Commies in power ruining the country.
Boris: Brilliant, so the more schools we close and sack more police, they go on supporting us even more?
Pritti: Exactly, the more bankruptcies in business and industry and the more all those stupid voters like those morons trust us with the economy and their futures.
Voters: Hey, you can't expect us to support the Conservatives if you're just going to insult us?
Pritti: Hey stupid, the Labour Party wants to give you a referendum on leaving the EU.
Voters: Well, if you put it like that, have a donation to party funds.
Conservatives: Stupid, stupid, stupid,