Is That An Anal Probe In Your Pocket Or...

Space is big. I mean really, really REALLY big. The nearest star system to ours is Alpha Centauri 4.3 light-years or 25 trillion miles away and my back of a fag packet calculations using the New Horizons spacecraft travelling at 36,373 mph as a baseline, it would take a spacecraft leaving Earth about 78,000 years to get there.
It is an argument i use for why we have not yet met any other intelligent lifeforms from the billions of biliions other planets out there because unless they have found a way to sustain traveling at greater speeds which wouldn't turn them into goo, they are either on their way or have spent so long and many generations to get here that they may well have forgotten what they set off for anyway in their 78,000 year old tech which is just as well according to UFO expert Malcolm Robinson.
The UFO analyst who has been investigated countless extraterrestrial sightings for the last 45 years thinks that aliens have already visited Earth and claims they have an agenda that isn't peaceful.
Robinson started looking at all things UFO to prove that the sightings were not real but after looking at the evidence decided he was wrong and now rather ominously states that: 'I wouldn't say they are peaceful due to the thousands of UFO abductions worldwide' which is a good point so where are you most likely to encounter a hostile visitor from another planet?
The National UFO Reporting Centre shows that the most UFO sightings are in USA, Canada, Mexico, Australia, and Scandinavia so if you are elsewhere and you see a strange light in the sky then it is probably an aircraft or a weather balloon but if you are in one of those five and you see a little green man waving around something which looks suspiciously like an anal probe then you might want to run away very fast.