This Easter Sunday Should Be All About Jesus

A strange man came bounding up to me one day a few weeks ago and asked me if i loved Jesus, 'well, he's alright' i replied in a well rehearsed answer, 'he seems a bit injury prone so i think we need another striker' and i walked away feeling very smug because the only Jesus i care about this Easter Sunday is the one with the big number 9 on the back of his Arsenal shirt today.
I am sure that at some point the commentators will make some reference to our Brazilian striker and a carpenter making an unlikely comeback a couple of thousands of years ago but that's just lazy and you won't get anything like that from me, no siree, i am far above puerile nonsense like that in such an important game.
The team news is that Jesus is likely to come on as sub if we are losing, he has bought us back from the dead before and would be just the man we need to resurrect our title hopes and crucify his old Manchester team.
If he can get on the end of a cross then we can finally nail City's chances in the League so come on your Gunners, let's make this Sunday less about scoffing chocolate eggs and more about celebrating Jesus!