All Change In Horoscopes

Astrology is based on the position of the sun, moon, planets and stars relative to certain constellations and despite it being one of the more whacky ideas out there, a poll showed that 27% of Americans, 23% of the French and 46% of Mexicans believe in it.
It has certainly been around for a long, originating in Babylon around the year 700 BC when the 12 zodiac signs were established and each day tens of millions scan the pages of their morning newspaper searching for their own zodiac sign but it has been recently revealed that 86% of us were actually
born under a different constellation to our star sign.  
NASA have confirmed that the sky today is completely different to how it was all that time ago when the Babylonians first invented the 12 signs of the zodiac and actually there are 13 constellations, the Babylonians just deliberately left Ophiuchus out as they used the 12 month calendar and it just made things neat and tidy.
Because they are such boffins, they have produced a new Horoscope which includes the missing Ophiuchus sign so i am now a empathetic, mystical, pleasure-seeking, romantic, imaginative and impressionable Pisces rather than the bold, energetic, charismatic, fun, lively, passionate Aries i have been since i was born.

The new Horoscope is:

    Capricorn: Jan 20 - Feb 16
    Aquarius: Feb 16 – March 11
    Pisces: March 11 – April 18
    Aries: April 18 – May 13
    Taurus: May 13 – June 21
    Gemini: June 21 – July 20
    Cancer: July 20 – Aug 10
    Leo: Aug 10 – Sept 16
    Virgo: Sept 16 – Oct 30
    Libra: Oct 30 – Nov 23
    Scorpio: Nov 23 – Nov 29
    Ophiuchus: Nov 29 – Dec 17
    Sagittarius: Dec 17 – Jan 20